If I had a Nielsen Box

Bunheads

Tue, 22 May 2012 04:33:59 GMT

This doesn't premiere until mid-June, but the pilot is available to watch early via TV Line. It's Amy-Sherman Palladino's new show, so you know, that is both a good thing and a bad thing.

Warning: There's a pretty major spoiler in this post -- major enough that if you're at all interested in watching the show that I don't think you should read this until you have.

Bunheads

I don't have much to say about this, tbh. lisal825 asked me to make a post so we can discuss it without spoilers, so. This is the post.

- The characters of Stars Hollow always walked a fine line between being amusing and grating to me, and Bunheads is kind of the same. I kind of felt like I was watching Emily Gilmore play Miss Patty.

- The total lack of diversity is annoying, but it's nice that the show is completely focused on female characters. I liked the younger part of the cast better than I expected, and I assume their dynamic will be fleshed out more over the course of the first season.

- My fave snarky moment was Michelle's crack about domestic beers, which is a philosophy I totally share. If you're gonna drink the empty calories, at least drink something decent!

- Hubble was kind of... like, he did seem very kind. But it's obvious that he didn't really know Michelle, he was just enchanted by her stage persona and infatuated with her. The stuff he said about understanding her was very generic. You want to laugh? You want to travel? You want to be challenged? I mean, who doesn't. The gifts he showered her with, the flowers -- it all felt superficial. She agreed to marry him while she was super down and wasted, and they were obviously on the path to disappointment IMO. So um, maybe it's a good thing insofar as the show goes

[seriously this is a spoiler!]

that he died at the end. I was like OH MY GOD when it happened. IA with Amy that it's what made this pilot memorable. She upends her life (even though her life sucked) and marries this guy and has about two hours where it seems like hey this might actually work out (even though IMO it wouldn't have) and then BOOM, HE DIES.

So what did you guys think? Will you watch this summer?

So far I'm thinking my summer shows will be River Monsters (I looove that stupid show), SYTYCD, Bunheads, Newsroom (the new Aaron Sorkin show on HBO), Political Animals, and Royal Pains. Oh, and I'll catch up on S2 of The Killing once it's finished its run.

I want to talk about S1 of The Killing for a sec, actually.

The Killing

After I watched it, I went to HitFix and read back a bunch of their recaps and the finale interviews and stuff. And it made me realize how much of a totally different experience it must have been to just watch all of it over the course of a few days instead of two plus months. The reviews for the end of the season got more and more middling, until the second-to-last episode, which is primarily about the son of the main character (bb Shawn from Psych!) going missing. There's a lot of character work, but it's a slow slow slooow episode. Everyone seemed to love it, but when I was watching all at once it was this total anomaly that slowed down the story to a halt, and it just stood out like a sore thumb. I was bored. I wanted to fast-forward. But for fans of the show watching in real time, it was one of the best episodes of the season.

There were also a lot of complaints about a lack of character development, but I felt like I got to know all the characters and got a glimpse of their lives over the course of the first season.

I also didn't totally hate the ending like most fans. It was a copout, but it was a typical TV copout and I wasn't really happy with the conclusion of the mystery anyway because there were still so many unanswered questions, it didn't really make that much sense to me. But it was a little depressing that a character I grew to like over the series turned out to be so sketchy.

You can also totally tell that this isn't an American production. Just the way it's filmed, the casting, the look of the show. I wasn't surprised to find out the showrunner is Danish and that it's an American adaptation of a Danish TV show. It was also funny how many people popped up in this that I didn't even recognize. Everyone just looked so different. Alona Tal, hey gurl!

The Past Is Not Prologue

Tue, 15 May 2012 01:34:46 GMT

Well, that was... strange. I can't imagine a way it could have been worse, actually -- it's kind of fascinating that way. I think watching Chuck reject Blair like that, with a riff on that beautiful Dan/Blair scene in 5x02 ("What if I lose everything?" and "You'll still have me." became "You have me." and "That's not enough.") was the worst part, especially because Blair hasn't "bet against" Chuck and any doubts she had about his motivations in 5x07, 5x08, 5x13, and 5x19 were completely understandable given his past actions. And she apologized each time and helped him with his problems in 5x22 and 5x23! So watching Chuck reject Blair on top of everything else like that was just... wow. I don't even feel like I watched Chuck fight for Blair this season, I feel like Dan was the one who was there for her and helping her this whole time, helping her to be strong and find herself! I'm stupefied.

And Serena's arc makes me so sad too. If her season was about telling people who the real Serena van der Woodsen is, it ended with her in the same place she was at the very beginning of the series -- cheating with her best friend's boyfriend, being self-destructive and running away. And of course Dan telling her he doesn't even know who she is anymore.

What an odd, heartless little show Gossip Girl turned out to be.

Anyway, I haven't talked to you very many of you guys about Gossip Girl since February, so I thought I'd post something on LJ (IDK that I can be fucked to update it anymore tbh, sigh) for... IDK, closure and stuff. What did you guys think? Are you surprised too? (Well, as surprised as anyone can be by Gossip Girl being bad, that is.) Will any of you watch the final season? I feel like there was almost nothing in this episode for anyone who doesn't ship Chuck/Blair, and ship it really really hard, i.e. you don't believe Dan loves the real Blair, you resent Dair, and you believe Blair has wronged Chuck and needs to grovel. I'd be curious about Gossip Girl's true identity if I hadn't already been curious about why Bart faked his death and seen how great this show is at big reveals, smh.

P.S. Oh, I almost forgot. I made a GG parallel! It's the first thing I've made for GG in ages, and obviously it will be the last. I like it, though! I started crackshipping DB in 3x02, so it's fitting!

Blair: Humphreys are not proper escorts.
Dan: Let's see if we can change that stereotype.
ME: NO YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT. NOTHING EVER CHANGES ON GOSSIP GIRL.

Pottermore

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:40:27 GMT

Finally! My confirmation e-mail was so slow, I think it must have been actualfax delivered by an owl.

I don't know if I'll end up playing the full game (probably not), but I reallyreally wanted to be ~officially sorted~ by JKR's method since I've never really felt like I fit into any particular house. And lol, now I have been:

I still feel like this is a little bit wrong, to be honest. The traits I value the most are loyalty and intelligence. Even the better portrayals of Slytherins in the book featured a lot of self-interested, self-aggrandizing behavior that I don't like or relate to. I feel like I'm too idealistic to be a Slytherin! But I know I'm not a Hufflepuff. I was kind of relieved not to be a Ravenclaw because even though I got sorted there a lot in the meme that went around a year ago, I'm kind of urgh about academia and have always been a super lazy student. Also, I'd always be locked out of the common room if I had to answer a philosophical question to get into it, lbr. And while I'd love to be a Gryffindor since all of my faves from the book are Gryffindors, I'm not brave, and I think things through (read: overthink!) before I do them. So w/e, I guess maybe Slytherin is the best fit.

y u gotta do me like this el jay?

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 20:35:56 GMT

UGH, LIVEJOURNAL.

I hate it. It's stupid.

You know what would be cool? If it expanded or something. What is the point of changing lj-cuts if it's not to make them expandable!

[I guess this is sort of cool, tho.]

Sort of.

P.S. WHATEVER, CANDICE. IT IS HORRIBLE. JUST LIKE THE NEW COMMENT PAGES.

[Sorry for yelling at you tho.]

all the tv that ever existed

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:26:16 GMT

Wings of the Dove

The movie, not the book. I watched Room With a View and then I wanted moar period movie goodness and moar Helena Bonham Carter, so it seemed like a good idea.

This was better than I expected it would be, but I wish it could have ended differently. Like, I realize that it's not a Henry James novel if a monied American isn't getting screwed over by tricksy Europeans, but there was a moment when Kate, Merton, and Millie are running around Venice together and everything was so sumptuous and lovely, and I optimistically hoped it would turn into a sexy threesome movie where everyone loved everyone and they would all be together until Millie died and it would be sad but also happy, yay.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

Instead it turns into one of those trainwreck love stories where you see every bad thing coming. Millie is so sweet (But it's always like that! When you're as rich as Millie is you can afford to be sweet, and it's the social climber who has to get her hands dirty and end up looking twice as bad!), and you know the whole time that however much Kate and Merton love each other, it's not going to survive doing this to Millie. The end of the movie is totally appropriate -- they end up with no money, no trust, a bunch of self-hatred, and a ruined relationship. They pulled out a tacked on hopeful ending for Merton where he returns to Venice that I kind of wish they hadn't. Maybe Hollywood thought the ending would be too depressing otherwise?

Downton Abbey

Meh.

The low point, for me, was Lavinia's death. Which was just so ridiculous. I wish they hadn't brought her back at all, especially not so she could die the ridiculous, proppy death of a martyr, wishing for Matthew and Mary to be happy with her actualfax last dying breath. And afterwards, the stuff about how Matthew and Mary were cursed... it was all so silly! I think Matthew walking again was a copout, but a very much desired one on my part. That was the good kind of silly. Also silly: Mary and Daisy's women's intuition kicking in when Matthew and William were injured. Honestly, I wish they'd just left out all the stuff from the front and stuck with the helpless perspectives of everyone at Downton -- maybe with some flashbacks here and there.

I completely lost interest in Bates' story line, and in Anna/Bates. I'm not at all looking forward to the continuation of this story line next season.

Did people actually like Branson/Sybil? It was cute watching him fall in love with her last season in a this-won't-end-well kind of way, but Branson was completely insufferable this season. I hated how he denigrated her work (what work? serving tea to randy soldiers?). I hated the lack of understanding he showed her, like what he was asking her to do wasn't a huge deal, like if she didn't do it, it meant she was an awful person with false ideals. I also never really felt like Sybil returned his feelings, so it all fell so completely, annoyingly flat for me. The one thing I'd say is that I liked that Branson is a radical socialist, to the extent that he's sort of a crank. I think the way he adjusted his rhetoric to excuse the murder of the czar's family in Russia showed that he's completely committed in an emotional (rather than rational) way to these principles, so it makes sense that he would be so harsh on Sybil every time she wavered. But honestly, I wish Sybil had turned him down so we'd get to see her at Downton in a new romance in the 20s.

Edith was very much improved this season. It's sort of sad how attracted she was to the slightest hint of interest from anyone, to anyone or anything that offered her purpose: the married (!) farmer, the con-artist (I mean, I think he was a con-artist...), that guy in the Christmas special who is much too old for her. I want nice things to happen for Edith next season.

I think I actually liked Daisy's story line the most of anyone's. It was sad to watch her get railroaded into being William's sweetheart, into getting engaged, and then into marrying him. And when William asked her to marry him so he'd know she'd have his widow's pension to fall back on... gah, I cried so much during that episode. I also loved how Daisy avoided and avoided and avoided William's father, and their scenes in the Christmas special where they finally sat down together were total perfection. And she got promoted at the end thanks to his advice!

Thomas! I loved him this season. I liked O'Brien more too. They're so stupid and short-sighted, bless them. I love how O'Brien is always tattling to Lady Cora, and it never turns out the way she thinks.

Last season I felt like the audience's sympathy was (mostly, or at least equally) meant to be with Matthew and his mother, but this season I felt like Isabelle got the shaft and was depicted as being annoying and overbearing, and our sympathies were meant to be with Cora. Which struck me as odd.

Anyway, I was disappointed with the season overall, but the production values are so pretty and the acting is so good, and I'm looking forward to the twenties.

Awake

I watched this pilot early, and it's the only pilot besides Revenge that's caught my attention this season. It's run by the guy who did Lone Star, which makes sense because you could also distill Awake's story down to being about a man living a double life. I love Jason Isaacs, but the reset of the casting is just okay. The scenes with his wife were the flattest part of the premiere, which is a problem because the show's premise is that Jason Isaacs's character is caught between two realities -- one where his wife is still alive, one where his son is -- and his relationship with his son connected sooo much better than his relationship with his wife. Unless that's a reflection of the idea that it's harder to lose a child than it is to lose a spouse, his wife and their relationship needs to be fleshed out ASAP.

The super obvious answer to this show's mystery is that Jason Isaacs is not actually awake, that he's asleep in a coma after the accident. I kind of hope the showrunner will go ahead and debunk this early on, like the people who ran Lost debunked the theory that they were all in Purgatory.

The Good Wife

The Syria stuff was really timely, but it was sort of a waste of Jonathan Groff.

I thought the conclusion to Will's arc was kind of dumb. Or more like the reaction to the conclusion of Will's arc was dumb. SIX MONTHS AWAY FROM THE LAW WILL KILL YOU. I think they should have made his suspension three years (and then downgraded it later in some sort of convenient and plotty way) because six months doesn't seem like a big deal. It's basically a sabbatical. Will is a partner in a law firm with no children and no wife -- he ought to have plenty of money. He could travel, write a book, take some cooking classes, visit friends in Washington and Baltimore -- the implications aren't a huge deal to me, and it's weird to see people jockeying for his position since it's not like he'll be gone for that long. Their third partner in the first season NEVER came in to work.

Diane, as usual, is fucking flawless. I loved how Will realized that the only reason he got leniency was because of Diane's pro-bono program he fought against (although honestly, I don't remember him fighting it! I thought Diane just said this is what I want, and Will was like okay?) and that it was the catalyst for his decision to not fight the suspension and accept the consequences of his actions.

Gossip Girl

^ This is pretty much how I feel about Gossip Girl right now. (Except for Penn's hair, which crossed a line in this episode. It's officially tragic.)

Yeah, anyway. I have no idea what's going on. It's great that Dan and Blair are finally happening, but it's way too hot off the OTT Chuck (and Louis) stuff for me, and I have serious whiplash. I fully believe that Blair has been avoiding Inside, avoiding her feelings for Dan... but just a few episodes ago I was watching her declare her unfuckingdying love to Chuck for the umpfuckingteenth time. I'm also kind of stupefied that Serena, Blair's denial, and Inside were all dealt with in this one episode. Chuck/Blair continues to be all over the place. I was really confused about when they'd promised to wait for each other, but I guess what I thought was the show reassuring viewers that Blair wouldn't be basically raped while she was forcibly married to Louis was actually Blair promising Chuck he wouldn't see her with anyone else, so. That's great.

I hate that the video plot has become Dair fandom's version of Baby Bass because all of you guys's specs that Dan didn't really send the video have made it that much harder to accept that he did, so THANKS A LOT, GUYS. But I still think he sent it. Best case scenario is that Dan has a non-gross motive, and that Chuck's actions tonight will parallel Louis's from 5x06, when he tried to convince Blair that Chuck was the wrong choice. Speaking of Chuck, I kind of liked him in 5x16. He just feels like a more S1/S2 version of Chuck who tries too hard to hold onto things that end up slipping through his fingers anyway. You don't need Blair, Chuck. It will be okay.

My favorite thing about the episode was how completely exasperated Dan was with Blair's BFF act at the UCB rehearsals. His face when Blair tried to hold his hand, or when she said that kissing him is like petting a dog? Priceless. It's funny that Dan wrote the book version of Serena advising Blair's character that there's nothing powerful about her when she's around ~Charlie Trout~ and encouraging her to pick Dan when in reality we see Serena push Blair towards Chuck all the time, even after he humiliated her and grabbed her at that embassy party last season. So IDK how seriously to take what was in the book. I'm just going to take Blair's epiphany that Dan loves her for her at face value and leave the rest. (Although, I did think Dan made up the essay contest to replace the photoshoot until the writers made it Twitter canon...) I did love Blair's reaction when she had to deliver the line about how I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM WITHOUT CHARLIE, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world, even though Blair says things that are infinitely more ridiculous about Chuck all the time.

Oh look, a parallel.

The schemes were hiring a fake student to fake like Dan and get Serena to overthrow Blair, ruining Blair's attempt to be a TA at Columbia, and then obvs sabotaging Dan's book proposal. I guess it's his version of Chuck Bass Was Here.

I've always meant to do the parallels between 2x04 and 4x05, what with the minions, martinis, scarves, and dossiers. Maybe someday.

Revenge

Talk about a letdown. I'm glad Daniel isn't dead, though. It would have been a bold move, but also a dick one. And in the long run, the show would probably be worse instead of better. (I'm biased tho, since he is my fave.)

Vampires Who Don't Have Diaries

It's hard to remember an episode where Stefan and Damon's fixation on Elena has annoyed me more. It's one thing to put Elena's safety above Bonnie and her mom's, but they could maybe, like, pretend to care a little about what it will do to Bonnie instead of just how mad Elena will be. I hope the Bonnie/Elena issues end up making this episode worth it because the setup in it was clumsy and annoying.

Klaus burning his deep, sensitive sketches of Caroline was soooo silly. He's not at all scary anymore. Is the rest of this season really going to be about killing him? At this point, why bother. Let me into the TV, I could take him! And what happened to Esther? Why is Damon/Elena backburnered? Honestly, I feel like everything on the show is stagnant and I have no idea what's happening next.

Originally posted at http://caitie.dreamwidth.org/470857.html.

mostly gossip girl, siiiigh

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:15:27 GMT

So. Look what is deleted and soon-to-be purged: caitie! Y/N? I sort of hate LiveJournal a lot lately, tho.

You guys, ugh, why was last night the Chris Brown Appreciation Grammys? People do realize that Rihanna was unable to perform at the Grammys three years ago because of what he did to her, right? I hate everything. And this is upsetting. I was sad Kanyesus skipped out, but they didn't present Best Rap Album and he was flagrantly snubbed for Album of the Year, so I can't really blame him. I was happy to watch Adele sweep everything, though.

I watched Smash, which was okayish but the cast is too white for a show set in NYC. I am super excited for this week's Revenge. S2 of Downton is about as blah as I heard. Mostly I just want Awake to air and The Good Wife to come back immediately.

This is a proper Gossip Girl post for 5x13 and 5x14, I guess.

5x13 G.G.

The thing that stuck out to me most watching the pilot before this episode is that Gossip Girl is definitely showing its age. The pilot was so much prettier and more ~cinematic. All the trappings of Blair's wedding were so blah, and I hated her dress and hair. The pilot parallels were fun but superficial; my favorite was Dan looking up and seeing Serena on the stairs. I loved the opening dream sequence, though. Blake was great.

Georgina being Gossip Girl = totally stupid nonsense, surprise surprise that it was a fakeout. But what she said about Gossip Girl "abandoning her post" after Chuck and Blair's accident has interesting implications for who the real Gossip Girl might be. Does that mean that Georgina was the one texting Nate and forcing Serena's blog off-line? Or was that the real Gossip Girl?

Chuck/Blair just grated, grated, grated. It's all just such a bunch of bullshit, and the writing for them is somehow both repetitive and all over the place. 12, 13, 14 -- it's impossible to find a thread. I hated that Serena suggested the End of the Affair pact is just something Blair is doing because she's afraid of her messy and complicated relationship with Chuck. That explanation does nothing to address the masochistic/martyr elements of the story line. They could have kept Chuck/Blair apart for that exact reason -- Blair being afraid and unwilling to trust that Chuck has changed -- without bringing EOTA into it and piling onto Blair's Bellafication.

Louis going evil was my favorite part of the episode, bar none. SMILE! SMILE FOR THE CAMERAS!

You know the scene at the beginning where Dan and Serena are standing next to each other and smiling at Blair? Blair says she needs her best friend, grabs Serena, and they run upstairs together. I thought the end at the reception provided a really interesting contrast, because when everything goes to shit and Blair really does need someone, we see her fake a happy smile at Serena, walk right by her, and pick up a phone to call Dan (by memory!). In 14 she told Chuck she needed to handle her situation on her own, but then she told Dan she needed to know he'd be there for her. Dan has become an important part of Blair's support system without Blair actually registering that, and whatever Blair might say about only wanting the car or Dan cutting Serena out (Blair, you walked right by her!), these two episodes made it seem like Dan is the person she counts on the most. That's the story line I feel like I've been watching the first half of this season. ~~AND I WILL BE SO MAD IF DAN SENT THE VIDEO AND IT IS ALL RUINED.~~

5x14 The Backup Dan

This episode exists on two planes for me -- one where Dan send the video and everything about this episode is stupid and ruined, and one where Dan didn't send the video and this episode is charming and funny... except when it is being dark and gross because WHY DOES THIS STUPID CHUCK/LOUIS STUFF NEVER END, CRYING TBH.

I loved watching Dan's annoyance with Blair sort of simmer a bit before he blew up at her in the hotel room. The fight scene really couldn't have been any better. Everything I wanted to be addressed was addressed! I cannot believe how thoroughly the show just laid it all out there. It was perfect. I also loved the part where Dan told Blair that he'd be on his way since her real friends were there to help her. And her apology! Dan's face when she said that she cares about him! These were some of the best Dan/Blair scenes of the whole season, and they were really cathartic and just everything I could have asked for.

I also liked the final scene being a parallel to 5x01, except it's reversed. Dan doesn't think Louis ~really is Blair's prince~ anymore, he totally wants to punch him in the face. And fingers crossed, Dan has been a good friend this time and not sent the video. Because if he sent the video, this episode is just... It's not even that Dan sent the video, if he did. That would make sense, I guess, in a Gossip Girl way. It's that he blamed Chuck, had a total non-reaction to Blair saying the video ruined everything, was so upset about being treated like "the bad guy" (and if he sent the video, he is!) and not one of Blair's real friends (and if he sent the video, then he isn't!), and complains that Blair dragged him into this mess. It would just be too much for Dan to send the video + blame Chuck + not be remorseful and feel responsible for Blair's situation. Also?

Whatever, Georgina. This whole scene seems engineered to contradict what she said about Dan being a great liar. Even Serena was all like what is wrong with you. (Speaking of which, why did Serena lie to Dan at the same time? She didn't tell him Blair was missing either.)

Ew, so much Gossip Girl, but I want to talk about this:

Knowing the Gossip Girl writers, the reason Blair is supposed to seem off this season is because she's denying herself her great, epic love or something. But for me, it's because all of her story lines this season have focused on Blair's powerlessness.

1. The Royal Wedding (zzz)

Thinking back, all of Princess Sophie's appearances resulted in a power struggle between her and Blair -- over wedding details, where Blair's baby will be born, where Blair will live, and now the dowry. Each time, Blair is forced to depend on Louis to stand up for her. It's always Louis who resolves the situation by asserting authority over his mother. But after the video, he sides with Sophie: "My mother told me love has nothing to do with marriage. Now I know she was right." Now that Blair has alienated Louis, she's completely beholden to the royal family and whatever they decide is best for their public image.

2. The Pact (smh)

Blair has no power to prevent the accident, her miscarriage, or Chuck's injuries. But she tries to assert control over the situation by making her pact with God. If she marries Louis, God will save Chuck. But really this is all just a way to laugh at how powerless Blair actually is. Everyone thinks she's stupid and crazy. All she did was screw up her life and hurt people she cares about by trying to get a handle on a situation she never had any control over at all.

3. The Dowry (ugh)

Blair is forced to remain married to Louis because she can't pay the dowry. The only person who can pay it is Chuck. Blah blah blah foils, the two powerful men who have both treated Blair like property. For the second time, Blair literally has a price tag. But at least when Chuck traded her for his hotel, she was able to walk away. (Kind of, siiiigh.) She's never been more powerless than she is right now.

4. The Pregnancy (w/e)

Even Blair Waldorf can't bend DNA to her will. As far as I can tell, the pregnancy mostly existed to complicate Blair's choice between Chuck and Louis, to be an external factor that tied her future to one man when she wanted to be with the other. Blair talks about losing everything when she thinks the baby might be Chuck's, she talks about feeling paralyzed and trapped when the baby is Louis's. Her pregnancy was also used in the power struggle between Blair and Sophie in 5x05. I think the pregnancy is just another way the writers toyed around with Blair's agency. Eventually she decides to leave Louis for Chuck, despite the paternity... and immediately loses the baby.

So basically, I feel like all of Blair's story lines this season have underlined Blair's lack of power, and the most active way we've seen her fight that is with her pact... which really just reinforces Blair's powerlessness and results in a sham marriage she's trapped in because Louis decided to reinstate her dowry, aka treat her like his property. :/

Anyway. Bad news, guys, I learned to make gifs! It wasn't that hard, but it's pretty time consuming. I'm suddenly glad I accidentally managed to buy a computer without a DVD drive, otherwise I'd be addicted.

It's just the Brief Encounter shout out on Pretty Little Liars I mentioned a little bit ago.

EDITED TO ADD:

Gossip Girl 5x15

You guys! I don't really know what to say. That was not Dan Humphrey on my TV screen tonight. His lack of remorse and guilt over sending the video is totally bizarre. I guess the writers want to have the video hanging over Dan and Blair's heads the whole time, ruined before they start.

I also hate the setup for Dan/Blair going into these next episodes. It's so jarring to have everything drag and draaag and draaaaag, and then BOOM Dan and Blair is happening. Blair has feelings for Dan now? They want to be together but can't? What is this?

The setup doesn't even makes sense to me. Even if Blair didn't explain the dowry to Dan, he knows that Louis went all ~dark at the wedding reception (and apparently he did too!) and looked like he wanted to punch Louis at the end of last week. I mean, what. And Chuck is the only ~light one now? Except not because he wants to sabotage Dan via Alessandra? I really have idea what is happening.

Anyway, ugh. Why does it suck so much to be a fan of this show.

TVD

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:57:11 GMT

Rambling, sorry.

I'm a little confused about what I was meant to take away from the Stefan/Elena/Damon triangle in this episode. Elena says at least Stefan respecting her choices and trusting her hasn't changed, but isn't a lot of that because he's trying (or just pretending) not to care? He keeps telling Damon that it's his job to protect Elena now. But Damon's conflict was that he feels too much for Elena and has become a liability in their schemes against Klaus. Which is a Thing on the show. Damon's feelings for Elena screwed up Elijah's plan, Elijah's love for his family screwed up the original plan to kill Klaus (Why is no one bitter about this, btw? I sure am!), Elena daggered Rebekah so there wouldn't be a repeat, and she took herself out of the plan when she said that she was the weak link because she cared too much.

So the show commends Stefan once again for respecting Elena's choices, but they also make the point that the reason Damon is distrustful and controlling is that he loves her. But when Stefan was with Elena and letting himself feel all the feelings, he wasn't controlling or distrustful. When Damon had these issues (but they were worse, tbf) last season, the show flat-out informed us through Elena that Damon disrespecting Elena's choices meant that he doesn't really love her or that he doesn't know what real love is.

Anyway, I liked how this episode was tied up very neatly by watching Damon, Klaus, and Rebekah be rejected by people who represent something important to them. Damon is very delicately rejected by Elena. Rebekah asked Matt to the dance to get revenge on Elena, but when he covered her up with his football jacket, I think Matt represented her humanity and the ~high school dance~ fantasy she'd been caught up in when Elena daggered her. And of course Klaus is rejected by Caroline, who I think shone a light on Klaus's loneliness since Klaus's motivations are the stupidest ever (He just doesn't want to be alooooone!) and Caroline pointed out that as many hybrids as he makes, they're just minions and servants and he'll never connect to people since he ~~is a fucking psychopath~~ doesn't try to understand people or whatever.

Anyway, I loved how they played Klaus/Caroline. Everything Klaus has to offer is extremely attractive -- an invitation to a ball Caroline doesn't want to attend (except it's a BALL and there will be WALTZING and HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES) and the beautiful dress Caroline doesn't want to wear (except it's SO PRETTY) and the diamond bracelet Caroline doesn't even like (except it's A DIAMOND BRACELET) and attention she isn't interested in (except a zillion year old vampire prince is interested in HER) and trips to places Caroline has never been to see... I mean, that was all so good and Candice is amazing and I love her.

And I laughed so much that the show used Klaus's drawings to show Caroline that Klaus has ~another side. Because if you draw, it means you are really deep and sensitive and stuff, obviously. (OT: How much would you have to suck at life to live for centuries on end and not get at least a little good at drawing, just wondering? If I were a vampire, I would while away my immortality by getting badass at everything.) They did the same thing with Tyler, actually! It was how Jeremy decided Tyler was more than a brain-dead douche.

As for the plan to kill Klaus... I think Finn might have an ulterior motive. His willingness to die is just weird, and he seems kind of expendable compared to the others. Who can LEAVE tbh, I'm tired of the originals. (Except Elijah. He can stay for always.)

I think I am going to make an Om Shanti Om picspam.

And I was so psyched for this episode!

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:53:40 GMT

Maybe I'm in denial, but I don't really think Dan sent the video that ruined Blair's wedding?

- He doesn't have a decent motivation. If Serena had sent it, she'd be doing it because she wants Blair to be happy and thought she was making a terrible mistake. Chuck has obvious reasons to send it. But Dan has none. In 5x10 he told Rufus that if Blair wasn't with Louis, she'd be with Chuck. Dan wrote the vows and was a groomsman in the wedding. I think Dan has respected Blair's choices this season -- with the paternity, with the pact. Why would he do this?

- It's so completely out of character for Dan to lie like this -- to not only lie about not sending the video but to blame Chuck not once, but twice. Dan has done some dodgy stuff, but he's always provoked (outing Asher on Gossip Girl, sabotaging Blair's birthday party in particular) and he always takes responsibility. IMO his truly worst moments are related to his assumptions, judgmentalness, and just Dan's general sometimes-douchery. (I say this with love!)

- It doesn't work with any of the scenes they had in this episode. If Dan ruined Blair's wedding by sending the tape to Gossip Girl, then it taints everything he said tonight in a fight that was a long time coming. He can't complain about being there for Blair and the way she treats him if he sent the video. He can't be peevish in response to her peevishness if he sent the video.

- It would make everything Dan did incredibly creepy. It would be like he ruined Blair's wedding and cast himself as the hero and Chuck as the villain. He unsolicitedly brought up that Chuck sent the video in the car. Again with this NOT seeming like Dan to me at all.

- If Dan did this crazy OOC thing, then... like, how does this even fit with Blair's story line this season? She worries that she turns people dark, and the answer is that... she does? The fear or losing her turns Chuck dark, Blair breaking Louis's heart turns him into an asshole, and Dan's love for Blair turns him into a Machiavellian creep? It's not like they gave him an out, like they did Serena or Chuck. If they sent the video it would almost be understandable -- Serena would think she's helping Blair be happy, Chuck would be selfish and not respecting Blair's choices, but obviously frustrated by the pact and all the stupidity therein. Dan has no reason.

The thing about Gossip Girl is that the show is definitely evil enough to do something like this, but in this case... I kind of think it isn't. My guess is they want some big mystery with everyone thinking Dan did it, but he didn't do it.

But either way, this episode was ruined for me because I spent the whole time anxious that Dan sent the video. It cast a pall over everything that happened. (I sort of really like Lola, though.) And if Dan did send it, then Dan/Blair would be completely ruined. Either way, this episode bummed me out.

I also hated Blair promising Chuck that Louis won't touch her when he says he can't stand to see her with anyone else. That's just gross, Gossip Girl. The DOWRY (seriously?!) is gross too. I'm just so tired of this show being gross. Anyway, I'm just out of patience with the show, out of energy to talk about it, and the idea that Dan sent the video taints everything that happened with D/B tonight.

Random Stuff

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:35:08 GMT

+ I don't really have anything to say about the Chuck series finale, except that it was cute and fun and I cried a bunch, especially when Chuck found Sarah on the beach, just like Sarah found him in the pilot. I just started crying as soon as I saw the shot, and I didn't even know I had those kinds of feelings about this show.

CHUCK: This is actually where you told me that I was going to be okay, that I could trust you. And that's exactly what I'm doing now, asking you to trust me. Sarah, I don't want anything from you. I just need you to know that wherever you go, I will always be there to help you. Someone you can call, whenever. Trust me, Sarah. I'm here for you always.

;___;

Anyway, everything was wrapped up really nicely except for Chuck and Sarah's pleasingly ambiguous ending. And Jeffster's performance was hilarious. Oh, and the return of Wienerlicious. And the do-over of Bryce breaking into the Intersect. And Chuck becoming the Intersect and defusing the bomb! Good times.

+ There was this one scene in the Chuck finale with a super OTT musical cue. (YT doesn't really do justice to how loud it was on the TV.) But it totally made me think of lisal825's post about musical cues on tv. I've been paying more attention to them since I read it.

+ myfriendamy wrote an amazing post about Serena, her ties to The Beautiful and the Damned, her label, and how her arc this season is about controlling her own narrative. It's probably the most insightful post I've ever read about Serena and definitely the most interesting take I've heard on her story line this season, and ofc it is much, much too good for the show.

+ The Vampire Diaries

So when I heard a male character was dying off, my wish was that it would be Alaric or Caroline's dad. BOOM, FAVORITE EPISODE EVER. I don't even care that Alaric came back to life.

But of course the show managed to make me teary over Caroline and her Dad, and I am willing to forget how much I want Alaric to die b/c the idea of a mysterious person going around town stabbing people is totally fun.

I felt like this episode was the most noticeable/successful episode to capitalize on the more careful writing they've been doing for Elena, and Matt didn't annoy me either. Tyler's absence was so grating because he absolutely should have been there. Did they write him out for awhile at the end of the last episode? I don't remember...

Um, the originals. Whatever. Elijah was pretty and made funny faces. I liked the Original Witch way more when she was all up in Klaus's business, screwing him over. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO KILL KLAUS, OKAY.

+ LEGOs pretty much suck nowadays anyway, but this Feminist Frequency video about the new sets for girls is depressing. (OT: To this day, I regret using my LEGOs (I had so many!) in an art history project on MC Escher b/c I ended up gluing them all together and spray-painting them all white, and ugh, it like physically pains me that I did that...)

+ I'm having a ton of issues with LJ lately, ugh. Seriously, so much hate for LJ.

Brief Encounter shout out on PLL

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:45:30 GMT

I don't watch Pretty Little Liars anymore, but my sister sent me this today and was all like, 'it's just like your LJ icon!' Kind of cool.

I did shots! They were fun! The first 10, anyway.

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:34:03 GMT

Gossip Girl

This episode was actually really fun; there were so many moments that cracked me up. I particularly liked the Beatrice/Blair scenes (shipping it, tbh) and Serena and Blair's stuff. It was just nice to see Blair happy and fun after all the depressing story lines she's had in 5x09-5x11.

I remember people thinking that Cavalia and Beatrice making out in the limo in 5x02 was a deliberate callback to Chuck/Blair, and obviously they were right since a bunch of comparisons were drawn between Beatrice and Blair's relationships in this episode. But I wish Blair was really staying away from Chuck because she's realized that relationship drags her down and they don't work no matter how much she and Chuck love each other. Instead it's this stupid pact.

I completely fell for the awesome bait and switch Nate/Serena pulled on Tripp. I was so mad, too! I was all like UGH WHY DOES SERENA TRUST TRIPP MORE THAN NATE AFTER HE LEFT HER FOR DEAD, THIS IS JUST LIKE HOW NOBODY CARES JACK TRIED TO RAPE LILY, I HATE THIS SHOW'S COMPLETE LACK OF LONG-TERM MEM-- ...oh.

Dan wrote Blair's wedding vows! Which, you know. Is not at all adorable. I am not moved by that kind of overt cheese at all. I am completely unaffected. :)

I don't know if we'll get to hear them since the show let us read the first page. (I hope we do, because the scene of Dan making sad-panda faces at Blair while Louis tells her how much he loves her in Dan's own words is totally a scene I need in my life!) But this part is interesting:

You have taught me how to enjoy everything the world has to offer. You have brought out a side of me I never thought existed. I realized before you, I did not truly know how to live. I was expected to do things and to be a certain kind of person. But the truth is that person was someone I didn't actually like all that much.

The vows are interesting in two ways. The first is that Dan is saying Blair brings out a side of him he didn't know existed, and the implication is that it is a lighter side. (HE DIDN'T LAUGH, YOU GUYS.) Which is loaded in the context of Louis and Chuck's stupid dark/light side themes and Blair believing she brings out the darkness in them. The second is that the "certain kind of person" Dan is expected to be is an outsider. Louis actually gives him The Stranger as a thank you gift for writing the vows, a.k.a The Outsider. I love this because one of the reasons I love Dan/Blair is that they see through each other's personas. I love the scene in S2 where Blair schools Dan about how he really is the ultimate insider and the scene in S3 where Dan takes off Blair's ~~crown~~ headband and tosses it down the stairs. I also like that Dan seems to be renouncing Vanessa and Chuck's advice about how an artist needs to "stand alone" to observe the world from a distance, especially with the quote Dan chose from Sabrina: "I learned how to be in the world and of the world and not just stand aside and watch." Aw, Dan.

...I just analyzed prop vows, didn't I.

I swear I'm not ignoring Dan/Serena, I just don't know what to say about them. I think Serena's feelings came off as sympathetic, even though she lied at the end. The scene where Dan read and complimented her column was really sweet.

I laughed at Chuck helping that elderly man across the street. I guess this is what JS means about how Chuck's story line in these episodes are about whether or not he'll backslide. Will he sabotage Blair's wedding or get back to his busy schedule of saving ducks and helping old ladies cross the street??? I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT. Seriously, though, if we're supposed to wonder whether or not Chuck will actually go ~dark at the wedding, I kind of think he won't. In the end it will probably be ~~the butler~~ Georgina who ruins everything for no reason other than boredom.

LOL @ Josh Safran saying there is no planned ~endgame.

But w/e, it's better than Stephanie Savage going around saying Nate/Blair would be a "blip" before that story line even aired.

TVD

ELIJAH IS BACK. That's all I really care about.

The last three episodes have been... adequate? I liked Bonnie's stuff last week with her mom. Stefan's stuff has been good, too.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't care that Elena compelled Jeremy, insofar as I'm pretty sure I was supposed to think it was the wrong thing to do while also understanding why she did it. She is responsible for Jeremy's well-being, and he almost died just because Klaus wanted to send a message to her. I mean, as a big sister, I just don't think this was as OMG BAD as a lot of people do. Her instinct is to protect Jeremy and send him out of harm's way. I agree with Bonnie, but I liked that she capitulated since did something stupid to bring Jeremy back to life in the season finale when, again, Jeremy was caught in the crossfire. Technically, Jeremy should already be dead.

The writing for Elena has improved a lot, they're trying a lot harder with her than they have before so I think some of the criticism must have taken. I could do without some of the textual cues for how we're supposed to see her behavior, though. Bonnie's stuff in this last episode was good, and I'm hopeful we'll finally meet her dad sometime soon? Her lack of a fleshed out homelife is embarrassing to the show. Tyler's stupidity has been grating, so I'm glad he's being proactive and trying to break the sire bond. Klaus/Caroline is le groce, but I liked that Caroline got to choose the life of a vampire since Katherine took that choice from her the first time.

Royal Pains

This show has lost a little something. I'm not sure what, but the writing ever since the second half of last season has felt off.

I'm happy Jill and Hank broke up, because that needed to happen, especially if Evan and Paige are engaged. And I thought they got engaged last season, so the cheesy proposal scene at the divorce party surprised me. The consequences of Divya's exhausted mistake at Hampton's Heritage were the best part of the premiere, and I'm not surprised that watching her tell Hank was the cliffhanger. It's the most interesting story line the show has going for it right now.

Revenge

This show got boring, but I perked up at the reveal that Charlotte is Emily's half-sister, and this past episode was actually genuinely good, probably because it was written by Liz Tigelaar. For the first time, I actually got why so many people ship Nolan/Emily. When Daniel says he can be his real self around Emily, the obvious takeaway is that Emily is being a completely fake person around him. And Jack is in love with Amanda -- someone she isn't anymore and probably never will be again. But Emily is actually herself with Nolan. He knew Amanda, and he discourages the worst aspects of her vendetta. His friendship grounds her.

Daniel is still my favorite. I really hope he is the Valentine of the story, because I don't want him to die!

Sherlock

Haaa. I think I enjoyed the Irene Adler episode the most, even if I disliked that she didn't actually manage to outsmart him. That's not how the story is supposed to go! But overall I enjoyed all three episodes, even if the show is totally silly and there's a bit of a EVERYTHING AND THE KITCHEN SINK feel to the production. I think maybe it would be better if they did four or five hour-long episodes, because the show exists in this weird place between being a movie (not quite) and a tv show.

Anyway, I think Sherlock figured out that Moriarty wanted him to kill himself when he got that blank look while talking to John about how there was just one thing left for Moriarty to do. My sister thinks he jumped into the truck, and that ball he was playing with? We were watching The Mentalist, and Patrick used that sort of ball to fake a death. You stick it under your arm and it cuts off the blood flow so you don't have a pulse, which might have been enough to fool the onlookers. Anyway, it was a fun season and I'm looking forward to the next one.

The Marriage Plot

Spoilers!

I read this a little bit ago, and I liked it. I kind of stewed over the ending for awhile because the book is framed by the tension between Madeline's uncynical love of nineteenth century novels and the literary criticism that dissects them, especially of the depiction of love and idea that "the marriage plot" is dead. But the ending is actually completely satisfying, romantically. Madeline even tells Mitchell that it's a good ending. (And it was obviously going to end that way, too. It was practically advertised in neon letters. Mitchell thinks uneasily about how his love for Madeline is similar to wanting to possess her, and Leonard's random psych major friend tells Madeline that she shouldn't get back together with him because she can't save him by loving him.) If the ending is unsatisfying, it's because everyone's non-romantic fate is completely up in the air at the end.

The issue~ I had with the book is that the concept of the marriage plot is explained at the beginning of the novel like this:

In the days when success in life had depended on marriage, and marriage had depended on money, novelists had a subject to write about. The great epics sang of war, the novel of marriage. Sexual equality, good for women, had been bad for the novel. And divorce had undone it completely. What would it matter whom Emma married if she could file for separation later? How would Isabel Archer's marriage to Gilbert Osmond have been affected by a prenup? As far as Saunders was concerned, marriage didn't mean much anymore and neither did the novel.

This is so generalized, you can punch a million holes in it. I don't think Emma having the ability to divorce Mr. Knightley would have made them getting together at the end of the novel any less satisfying. (I mean, is Cher and Josh getting together in Clueless less satisfying than the ending of Emma?) Actually, Emma is probably the worst example of Austen's heroines to use in this argument since Emma was independently wealthy and didn't need to marry. Marrying Knightly was actually a problem because she didn't want to leave her father.

There are a lot of things that don't translate from these novels, especially inheritance laws like the ones that made Mrs. Bennet so desperate for one of her daughters to marry Mr. Collins. That's why the most recent P&P used an Indian family's arranged marriage drama to modernize the Mr. Collins subplot. And it's also probably part of the reason Jane Fairfax was completely left out of Clueless. I mean, honestly, marriage isn't the point to me in most of these novels, it's a motivation, it's a backdrop, it's a problem, etc. And now that women (and men) have more agency and marriage is less about wealth, those plots don't "work" anymore. Which is just how it goes. The information age has ruined a lot of traditional plotting. Even parts of this novel, being set in the 80s, wouldn't work today. There's one whole part where Madeline won't leave the room just in case Leonard calls. In 2012, she'd have had a cell phone. So I don't really see how the marriage plot no longer working in the sense that women don't have to get married or stay married and that Isabel isn't trapped in her awful marriage with Osmond means that a traditional ending where two characters get together is somehow rendered meaningless.

The other thing that stood out to me is that Madeline's agency is protected by Leonard and Mitchell in the resolution to both relationships. Leonard takes himself out of Madeline's life because he thinks he's holding her back, and it's Mitchell who ends things between them for good because she has "more important things to do" and being together would just get in her way. They both sort of let her go. Which... is actually kind of annoying when I think about it, but it fit with Madeline's characterization. Really, I think Madeline kind of gets lost in the shuffle by the end, between Mitchell and Leonard's perspectives.

One thing I thought was interesting is that after I was done with the book, I looked up bipolar disorder, and the writing for Leonard is textbook, seriously. I could go down the list and be like, wow, JE hit every. single. one of these. I also loved Madeline's affection for Madeline and Ludwig Bemelmans's illustrations. They really are the cutest, I put them in my favorite children's book picspam from ages ago. /nostalgia

Originally posted at http://caitie.dreamwidth.org/470004.html.

End of the Affair, no question mark plz.

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:07:33 GMT

Gossip Girl! What are you doing???

The way they just skipped right over Blair's miscarriage so she could obsess over Chuck is completely embarrassing. If they didn't want to deal with Blair's grief onscreen, they should never have written the story line. Why even bother with the pregnancy? It's not like they bothered to give Blair feelings about it beyond who the father was and how that would affect her.

I really hope myfriendamy is right that Chuck and Louis have been written like two sides of the same coin. Until now they've balanced each other out in that they've been light and dark at different times, but in this episode they both sort of teetered on the edge of being dark. And they bonded over their ~fear of losing Blair, talked about hiring detectives, followed her, planned to out her non-affair with Dan... Pretty much all of their scenes since Louis joined the show have been about trusting or not trusting Blair. But maybe it was all just for EOTA, sigh.

Super unpopular opinion, but the pact makes sense to me in several ways:

Blair is all about control, and losing the baby took that from her. She couldn't control that, so the pact is her way of trying to exert control over Chuck's fate. If she stays with Louis, God will save Chuck.
Dan pointed out the pattern of Blair saving Chuck in 5x02, which Sarah Goodman also wrote. And all of the religious stuff in her first episode -- Blair's exasperated plea to Mary for help, the religious holiday, all the stuff at the church -- was foreshadowing Blair's pact with God.
It's totally co-dependent, ew. I remember writing that co-dependents have savior and martyr complexes this summer. I think Sarah's damage in EOTA is that she equates love with suffering. Man makes God in his image, and Sarah's God expected her to suffer. When she makes her pact, it's not enough to believe in God because "it doesn't hurt to believe." She's really sad, you guys:
I don't mind my pain. It's their pain [Henry and Bendrix's] I can't stand. Let my pain go on and on and on, but stop theirs. Dear God, if only you could come down from your Cross for awhile and let me get up there instead. If I could suffer like you, I could heal like you.
I think Blair is very similar, in that her idea of love as per 4x22 is also really messed up. She thinks having it means sacrificing her happiness: "What we have is a great love. What's happiness compared to all that?" And so Blair's God expects her to sacrifice her newfound happiness with Chuck by marrying Louis. All of this completely fits the idea that Blair is a masochist in her relationship with Chuck. SHE'S DEAD INSIDE WITHOUT HIM. (Sarah says this too: "It's horrible feeling dead. One wants to feel alive again in any way.") SHE'LL LOSE EVERYTHING BEFORE SHE LOSES CHUCK.

CHUCK: I won't stop. I will use all of the power I have to find out the truth.
BLAIR: Some things are more powerful than even you.

Ha, they're completely at odds. It's taking all of Blair's power (like 4x22) to stay away from Chuck while Chuck is promising to use all of his power to find out why. And lol, God is more powerful than both of them! But seriously, it's sort of hard to figure out how this ties into her weakling arc. Staying away from Chuck is strong? Giving in would be weak? Chuck is her weakness? I really have no clue.

5x02 and 5x11 were kind of a flip for Dan and Chuck, the beginning and the end (yes!) of their pseudo-friendship. Even the Dan/Blair scene at the church where Dan gets a call from Chuck reminded me of the 5x02 Dan/Blair scene at the church where Dan sees the blast about Chuck. Of course, obviously this time Chuck wants Dan's help and Dan's not willing to give it. Also, Dan is helping Blair through a crisis that's left her feeling "dead inside," which reminds me of Dan helping Chuck through his inability to feel things in 5x02.

CHUCK: (To Louis) Blair has a special way of controlling men, but you know this.

Que? This quote is so weird in context of Louis and Chuck's dark/light stuff.

Dan/Blair were cute, but they really serviced the plot. I guess they were supposed to fool casual viewers into thinking they were having an affair. I liked that Dan had clearly been trying to talk Blair out of marrying Louis, but that he's being there for her regardless of her crazy decisions. Like Serena said, if she can't talk Blair out of it, at least she can help her live with it. That's exactly what Dan has been doing too. And Blair is confiding in Dan again and using the loft as a refuge again. Clue in soon, Blair.

I like that Gossip Girl ended up being Nate's anonymous tipster. I like that Serena is going to become Gossip Girl (and yeah I kind of died at how cute NS were when they discussed that, siiiigh). Nate as a "journalist" is ridic but hot. And I also liked how they introduced the real Charlie! And Chuck has a secret relative who donated blood for him, o yey.

Last season I would probably have ranted about Blair in this space, but Blair of 5x11 is really consistent with the Blair of late last season, and I squared her with the thing I wrote this summer about Chuck/Blair. I'm just frustrated that I'm still watching this story line, but I really do think they have to start changing this. (Shhh, let me have my hopes and dreams for awhile longer.) Blair can't continue to be this masochistic or co-dependent or weak or whatever you want to call it. Her character arc is weakling, so at some point she has to be really and truly strong on her own, right?

I may or may not do a picspam of EOTA vs. GG's EOTA? Would anyone even care to look at it? This episode was so baaad, IDK if it's worth it. I really wish I knew if the GGW have a larger point by using EOTA (there are so many things they could have done this season, and this is what they went with?) I don't know if it has a larger point or if the Gossip Girl writers are like Stephanie Meyer in that they will pull from these types of influences without any regard for the consequences.

P.S. Mostly I just want to forget this episode happened and skip straight to this:

Originally posted at http://caitie.dreamwidth.org/469745.html.

Pro/Con

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 02:20:49 GMT

Hey guys hey! I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Eventually I really want to talk about things like Breaking Bad, Parks & Rec, The Good Wife, Yuletide, The Marriage Plot, and how Werner Herzog is the funniest. But first I need to talk about Dreamwidth.

caitie

I'm going to use Dreamwidth as my ~homebase~ for the next month or so and crosspost to LiveJournal from there. I'm not committing myself to moving, but... I'm seriously considering it.

Reasons!

My paid account is nearly up. Observe the sad lack of ironic halo: caitie.

My comment notifications have been fucked up for over a month now, to an extent they've never been fucked up before.

The downtime is not a huge issue for me, but it doesn't help LJ's case. I don't mean the DDoS attacks, which I won't blame LJ for. I feel like I'm often randomly trying to load LJ or my inbox (which I have to use, since I don't get comments reliably anymore!) and getting server errors.

Dreamwidth is about to start allowing community imports; starting sometime this week, any LJ community admin will be able to export their comm's content to Dreamwidth. (Also: I feel like tumblr and twitter have really undermined LJ communities as a reason for sticking with LiveJournal over the past two years. It's just easier to reblog or RT news or pictures or links, and most of the comms I'm a member of are pretty dead.)

The new entry/comment pages, ugh. I've given it a week to make sure I'm not overreacting. I remember when LJ changed their profile pages, and there were things I disliked about them, but it was nothing compared to the visceral hatred I feel every time I look at an entry this past week. I've always used simple comment pages as my default setting -- it's how I look at my entries, it's how I look at you guys' entries, it's how I experience the site. And so now every time I look at an entry page, I just... hate it. It makes me unhappy. The font change, the way the comments collapse, how they expand more slowly than they did before -- I hate all of it. The only way it looks even slightly okay to me is on entries with one page of comments and no collapsed threads. And no comment previews?

I was looking at the newest post on Dreamwidth's news comm, and the comments were so supportive and happy. On LJ, everyone is always like I HOPE U FIND A FIRE AND DIE IN IT, FU AND UR MOM! It might be nice to be a part of a site like Dreamwidth, maybe?

I think the people who own and run Dreamwidth have proven that they know what they're doing, that they're not just another LJ clone or fork. I'm impressed with some of the things they've done (expandable LJ cuts! uploading multiple icons at once! entry previews in simple comment pages if that's your default!), and it was so easy to import my journal.

Reservations!

I have a friends list that I really like on LiveJournal! All of the comms I like are here! That's a lot of inertia and the main reason I haven't seriously considered moving until now. But I think I can keep up with my LJ f'list, even if I do move...

Sometimes I think of fandom as having, like, waves? Or factions, maybe? And I feel like the ~wave of fans who moved to DW were mostly not people I interacted with, people who I associated with OT3 and metafandom and the more srs bzns type of fandom stuff that is interesting, but not necessarily what I enjoy about fandom? But obviously, Dreamwidth would never have been founded or paid for without people like them! So I'm not trying to cast ~aspersions, just trying to express that I didn't necessarily feel like I belonged on Dreamwidth.

Related, there are things about Dreamwidth that make me roll my eyes so much. I get that a lot of fans disliked how the idea of a "friends" list created drama, that people just wanted to friend and unfriend people on the basis of whether or not what they were posting interested them at any given moment. But it's not like changing the name makes that go away. Followers, blog rolls, reading lists -- it will always suck to lose followers, no matter what you call them. And people will always use social networking sites differently. Anyway, the whole idea of a reading list instead of a friends list, granting access instead of friending... it's needlessly confusing and it creates (or attempts to create) this weird distance between you and the people who follow your journal? Or maybe I have it wrong, and it really does make people more open to ~~friending~~ subscribing to journals? IDK.

My objections to Dreamwidth seem pretty weaksauce, tbh.

So yeah, I'm going to give it a whirl~ I guess. I'll report back! The biggest annoyance I've run up against so far is that I guess Dreamwidth disables table background colors on their entry pages and profiles? Bummer for people who used profile codes.

Originally posted at http://caitie.dreamwidth.org/469290.html.

How do you kill a feeling?

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:23:15 GMT

I hate Putin.

Season 5 reminds me of Season 3. I loved the first four episodes, but then it got bogged down in flop story lines and ended with a karmic, real life-inspired car crash involving Tripp.

Anyway. I read The End of the Affair this past weekend. And it seems like this season has been *heavily* influenced by the book's characterization, themes, and plot. Louis's ~~personality~~ changing, Chuck and Louis's scenes about trusting Blair, the (untrue) idea that the fear of losing Blair is what made Chuck dark, the idea that Blair needs to promise Louis to never leave him -- I mean, there's so much about the Chuck/Blair/Louis triangle seems like it was ~inspired by the book.

I liked the book, tho? In fact, I totally recommend it because it's super short, very good, and makes this season a lot more interesting. Plus it would be fun to talk about with you guys.

Dan/Serena

Serena's feelings for Dan were reactivated by nostalgia, and the way Dan treated Blair is what cemented them. I think Serena was completely right that telling Blair how he felt would have been inappropriate, but she was kind of right for the wrong reasons. I think jealousy did motivate her to send Louis to Brooklyn. So hopefully the writers are ultimately moving Serena towards getting over Dan and her issues with Dan/Blair.

But lies! Serena did too get it right with Nate! Speaking of which, I like the idea of Serena and Nate taking down Gossip Girl (especially since Serena tried and failed last time), but that NSD scene at the hospital was so weird. It seemed like none of them were even worried about Blair or Chuck.

Chuck/Blair

Chuck was the best version of himself in this episode. And because it wasn't Nate or Dan or Serena or anybody stooging for his magically-induced goodness, it actually worked. This is the first episode I've liked Chuck in awhile. Which is depressing. (Not that it's been awhile, that I liked Chuck.) But ugh, Chuck/Blair is still a bunch of stupid nonsense:

BLAIR: You're all I ever wanted. I love you. I love every part of you. I couldn't tell Louis that he would never lose me because it wasn't true. You're the one I never want to leave.

This dialogue is admittedly soul-crushing, but it's not just about Chuck/Blair. It's about The End of the Affair. Blair says Chuck is all she ever wanted because she's about to give up what she wants so Chuck can live. Blair says Chuck's the only one she never wants to leave because that's exactly what she's about to do in order to save him. Remember last week when Chuck told Blair that her love kept him alive? Well, now it will. Literally. (At least, in Blair's mind. Wow at the promo.) So basically we're in for yet another story line about Blair's masochism and self-sabotage where her feelings for Chuck are concerned. TO THINK I THOUGHT THOSE WERE OVER.

I thought it was interesting/weird that Blair wanted to run away, that she didn't want to stay in New York. She'd been resisting moving away from New York with Louis and his family. It must be important because Chuck was all like WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

What I hated, though, was that Blair didn't make a choice. I'm paralyzed. I can't breathe. Tell me what the right choice is, Chuck. (Which is what he did in 4x22.) I don't know how to be happy. This, to me, was not Blair choosing her ending~. The show has used Chuck and Dan choosing other guys for Blair as a way to make them look awesome without much regard for how unawesome it makes Blair look. Between this kind of stuff and how much Blair's feelings for Chuck control her actions, it hasn't felt like Blair has had real agency for a long time.

DAN: Blair, what if you don't marry Louis.
Blair: And what? BE ALONE?!

Wow, Blair. All of this stuff about Blair being happy and who makes Blair happy and she should be with this guy because he's the one who makes her happy and I just want her to be happy is officially EXHAUSTING. It's depressing that her happiness seems completely dependent on other people. If she was happier with herself, maybe that wouldn't be the case. I mean, she thinks she's the villain of Dan's novel, she thinks she brings out the darkness in Chuck and Louis...

Dan/Blair

When I watched the premiere, I was all like ugh because I was sure Dan almost letting Blair walk away from ~everything would be paralleled. What Blair needed when she showed up at the loft was for Dan to be her friend, and instead he acted like a guy with feelings for her who saw an opportunity. So I'm really happy this was paralleled and reversed in the fall finale:

DAN: I've been so consumed with my own feelings that I didn't really let myself see how much she loves Chuck. She didn't need my confession, she needed my help.

It's exactly the flip of 5x01. Dan put his feelings aside and was the friend Blair needed.

This scene struck me as really odd, just because it was so unnecessary and weird for Dan to blindfold Blair. Maybe it was dumb misdirection, but I wonder if the stuff about trust was important? Dan asks Blair to trust him, and she says she's not in the habit of doing that. (Lies! Does her obliviousness know no bounds?) It made me think back to Eleanor's line in the premiere about how you should never test a good man who loves you, tbh. But I actually think Blair has already trusted Dan a lot...

Whatevs to all the fire in the room Dan leads CB to; I am choosing to focus instead on all the aromatherapy candles (lol) Blair made Dan put all over the loft. And aw, her sheets are on his bed:

BLAIR: I'm so lost I wound up in Brooklyn.

I love this, IDEC. Blair says she's lost, but she's in Brooklyn sitting in Dan's loft surrounded by Dan's things. There's tea, again. There's gourmet pizza, again. And there's Dan listening to her problems, again.

This really is a lot like Chuck/Blair's arc in Season 2, but the difference is that Dan isn't not saying how he feels because it's easier that way, it's actually a lot harder. He isn't saying it because his feelings are not relevant to Blair's actual life right now: she's engaged, she's pregnant, she's in love with Chuck. But ever since last season, whenever she's felt sad or lost, it's Dan's door she's knocking on. And I think that means a lot, Blair just doesn't get it yet. She doesn't realize there's a reason she keeps ending up in Brooklyn, she doesn't know that Dan is in love with her, and she hasn't read Dan's book. Dan/Blair is obvs not over.

Anyway, my favorite moment was Dan very seriously telling Blair that it wouldn't matter to him that her baby isn't his and Blair obliviously taking it as advice to call Chuck. Like, seriously, the more stuff like this happens, the more Dan acknowledges that Chair is this insurmountable thing, the more of a chance I think he has to break through it in a real way.

P.S. What is up with these writers' obsession with Howard Hughes? It's one of the most overused references on the show, and I wouldn't even know who he was if not for that Leo movie tbqh.

Gossip Girl

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:21:40 GMT

My favorite thing about this episode was the twitter accounts for IHateHumphrey and HumphreyLove turning out to be real. My other favorite thing about the episode was, oh yeah, NOTHING. I guess I dug Ivy for the first time in awhile, mostly because she finally got some clear motivations... but they're like six or seven episodes too late, you know? And watching Nate be editor in chief completely defeated my totally valiant attempt to suspend my disbelief, sry Nate.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about are Blair and Chuck and Louis. This episode was *very* heavy and unsubtle with its themes.

Chuck and Louis

So a few episodes ago, myfriendamy said she thinks the writers have written Chuck and Louis like "two sides of the same coin." Last season, the writers established a dichotomy for Blair in which Louis represented lightness and Chuck represented darkness. This season, they've spent the first 9 episodes undermining and reversing it, and it was so obvious tonight: "I am trying to pinpoint the source of your light so I can pull Louis out of the darkness."

So they aren't being subtle about what they've done. It's also what they've been doing the whole time, IMO. Louis and Chuck have been foiling each other all along:

Chuck and Louis are Blair's two princes.
Chuck chose his Empire hotel over Blair. Louis chose Blair over his empire.
Chuck waited two minutes for Blair in the S3 finale. Louis waited all night for Blair in the S4 finale.
Either Chuck or Louis could have been the father of Blair's baby.
Trust issues were at the center of both relationships' failures:
CHUCK: It's the reason why I couldn't say "I love you." It's because I knew I couldn't trust you.

BLAIR: (to Louis) Either you find a way to trust me, or you let me go.

Last season, Chuck tells Louis that Blair can't be trusted:
CHUCK: If you can't trust Blair to tell you the truth, you've got bigger problems than me. All I'll say is get used to it. Blair is nothing without her secrets.

And when Chuck wonders why Louis waited all night for Blair, he says:
LOUIS: Because I love her. And just as important, I believe in her.

But this season, it's reversed:
LOUIS: I want to believe, but every time I turn there seems to be another secret.
CHUCK: You're making a big mistake.
LOUIS: In thinking Blair could be trusted, yes. She will always have her secrets. She can't exist without them. You were right after all.
Blair tells Louis that Chuck will never change, "but what's scaring me is that you're changing into him." Three episodes later, Blair wants Chuck's help to make Louis "more like the man Chuck's become, like Louis used to be when Chuck was like Louis is like now." We get it, thanks.
Chuck tells Blair: "I only turned dark and desperate because I was afraid of losing you." And this is supposedly the key to Blair's Louis-related problems: "Just tell him he will not lose you, and he will be a prince again."
I also thought it was interesting that people assumed Feist's "The Bad in Each Other" would play over Chuck/Blair's scene in 5x08 when we heard it would feature, but instead it played over Blair/Louis's fight: When good man and good woman / Can find the good in each other / Then good man and good woman / Bring out the worst in the other

So basically, the light/dark dichotomy established last season was not static, and Louis is still Chuck's foil. He was perfect when Chuck sucked; he sucks now that Chuck is perfect. I think it's been a clumsy transition for a lot of reasons, namely that Chuck's redemption arc has been incredibly rushed and often ridiculous, and it's impossible for dark!Louis to make dark!Chuck look good (even though Louis was a lot creepier last week than I think most people registered). Obviously four episodes of dark!Louis and light!Chuck don't change how I feel about Chuck/Blair. But (sadly!) it makes sense that it would change how Blair feels about a lot.

Blair

1. Ugh.

2. Blair was upset when she realized Chuck let her go, and it reminded me of how their problems are so mutual, i.e. Chuck yelling at Blair that she'll never marry anyone else because she's his and Blair pathetically responding that she *wanted* to be so badly. It also made me think Blair never really let Chuck go. She told him a part of her wished the baby was his. Blair holding onto the paternity test was so odd, and then we got Louis waving it around -- not as proof she cheated on him but as thematic proof that: "some part of you thought you might still have a choice to make, and I needed you to see that Chuck would always be the wrong one." And as Chuck and Louis changed, Blair actively resisted those changes by trying to make Chuck and Louis fit back into the original dichotomy.

Chuck's rushed redemption and his switcheroo with Louis feels like the writers' intention with this is to pull the rug out from under Blair. Blair is like, this is how it is! Then Blair's like, okay maybe not, but this is how I'll make it! But that didn't work either, and now everything is shit. Blair is engaged and pregnant to Prince Louis... but Chuck is who she really loves, and it's Chuck who seems like the ~real prince.

3.

BLAIR: All this time I blamed you for pulling me into the dark. But I was wrong. It was me who brought out your dark side. And now that I'm with Louis, I've done the same to him.

CHUCK: You never pulled me into the dark side Blair. You were the lightest thing that ever came into my life. I only turned dark and desperate because I was afraid of losing you.

FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE LEADS TO THE DARK SIDE. I mean, really, what the actual fuck is this dialogue? This is not Star Wars. Chuck is not a jedi.

But ugh, I think it says a lot about how little self-esteem Blair has that she keeps shouldering so much blame for her boyfriends' actions. Why did she accept so much responsibility for Chuck manipulating her into selling herself for his hotel? Why did she cover up her cut face and lie about how she got it? Why does she jump to the conclusion that because she's the commonality in their lives, she's to blame for Old Chuck and New Louis being the way they are? WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, SHOW.

Answer: NOTHING. It's just being gross for the sake of its themes.

4.

Just tell him that he will not lose you, and he will a prince again.

Yes, this is TOTALLY the answer to awesome boyfriends! I know exactly how she should tell him, too! Outside on the curb with dark!Louis standing by his limo, both of them crying, his face in her hands while she looks deeply into his eyes and tell him: "The worst thing you ever did, the darkest thought you ever had, I WOULD STAND BY YOU THROUGH ANYTHING."

Seriously, though, even making allowances for Louis's understandable insecurities about losing Blair to Chuck, this is gross advice framed grossly. It also contradicts Blair's character journey to say something like she said to Chuck in S2 to Louis now, especially since the show went on to have Chuck throw it in Blair's face after the IP or have Blair humiliated by her "Stand By Your Man" video.

5. Blair's mirrors have been full of Marie Antoinette since she Louis showed up. (It's actually finally started to taper off.) Last season when Blair kissed Dan and went to bed for a week because she ~realized Chuck was her destiny or whatever (hateful show), I pointed out that her mirror was BIZARRELY contorted to reflect her Audrey painting. So I noticed that Audrey showed up in Blair's mirror again in her final scene with Chuck. Marie Antoinette showed up again when Blair talked about Louis, too:

Appropriate since Blair laying in bed and dismissing Dorota reminded me a lot of how she acted in 4x18. Sigh.

7. Remember when we thought 4x22 was a modicum of closure for Chuck/Blair instead of setting up more Chuck/Blair story? I miss those days, you guys.

FYI: Apparently LJ is under attack again by the Russian government. Freedom of speech is awesome and everyone deserves it, etc.

Gossip Girl

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:13:38 GMT

I mean, this episode was actually good as an episode. It wasn't overstuffed, it actually felt like Serena and Blair are still best friends, and the drama was paced and managed really well. But in general? I am so baffled by the show right now.

Ivy

I had such high hopes for Ivy! But her motivations have been unclear or -- worse -- plotty. It's pretty amazing that we're in Season 5, and Gossip Girl has yet to introduce a new character I care about. ...well, I guess I liked Carter. But obviously they did not.

Nate aka EDITOR IN CHIEF OF THE NY SPECTATOR

Which is beyond ridiculous, even if his grandfather engineered it to some nefarious end. The stuff about Nate having never sent a single tip to GG was adorable. I guess Diana will be back later in the season?

Dan

I hate Chuck and Dan being friends. It's so stupid, and the shenans aren't worth the headache it's giving me just thinking about CHUCK AND DAN BEING FRIENDS. Even for the crack-land that is a teen soap in its fifth year, this is not right. This icon is in protest, bye. ~~This was a little funny, tho.~~

People have been complaining that Dan and Blair's friendship is one-sided since 5x03, and mostly I figured that was a function of their dynamic. Blair yells a lot about how they aren't friends, Dan is her friend anyway, etc. This was the first episode where I felt like the imbalance is an actual thing. (Or just a way for Chuck to see that Dan is in love with Blair? IDK.) I get it if Blair is mad at Dan because his book strained her relationship with Louis, but she was happy to see Dan when she thought he was there to be not-mad at her. But once he wants her to be not-mad at him, she's just like 'ugh, take him away.' I mean, yeah, the timing could have been better, but what Dan was saying was basically true.

Chuck

Jesus Christ, Gossip Girl. It's therapy, not MAGIC. But the show is like, PRESTO-CHANGO, we give you Chuck Bass: A Changed Man! And after six episodes, we have the other characters informing us that Chuck is awesome and selfless and new and improved. And Chuck with a dog. And Chuck saving ducks. And Chuck weeping. And Chuck putting blankets on Dan. This is the most farcical redemption arc I've ever watched, but I think it's supposed to be serious. And I don't get that at all. I guess the writers never took any of the things they had Chuck do seriously, so they have no interest in (are incapable of?) walking them back in a real arc?

It's too dumb to get mad about, I'm just kind of embarrassed for the show if this is the best they could do with Chuck, plus confused about why this is so rushed. I guess they want Blair torn over Chuck going into the wedding?

Blair

Best Blair since... wow, that's depressing. Louis was incredibly creepy and self-righteous. He seemed a lot more interested in turning Blair against her friends than in finding out who leaked the paternity info. He could have just looked through the site to find out who sent the tip, but he posted it to Serena's blog and ruined their wedding shower to prove his shitty point.

But I liked how strong Blair was, when she realized what had happened. And even if it seems ridic, I actually like that Blair won't move to Monaco full-time for Louis. I like that she won't covert to Catholicism for him. Blair was so self-sacrificing in her relationship with Chuck, watching her put herself first seems like growth. (I hope that's how I'm supposed to see it, though. I honestly have no idea.) I just wish she hadn't gone to Chuck at the end and said YOU'VE BEEN GOOD THIS WHOLE TIME. What does that even mean?

Also, did the almost completely random exposition about Serena having a favorite antique shop in Paris + the weird pan over Blair's bed strike anyone else as really weird? It wasn't even product placement.

FAN STUFF

So I guess Dair shippers are in a debilitating funk over Penn saying that Blair is Dan's soulmate and how it's unfortunate for Dan because he isn't Blair's, Chuck and Blair are meant for each other, etc.

Which does suck, but the thing about actors is that they don't keep the show in their head like fans do, if they watch it at all. The stuff they say is more useful in the short-term (S4!Penn: IT DOESN'T END HOW YOU THINK IT DOES) than the long-term (S2!Penn: NO, I DON'T THINK VANESSA AND DAN WILL EVER GET TOGETHER.) I think Penn's interview means that in the episodes he's been filming, Dan in love with Blair, but Blair is still all about Chuck. Kill me now, etc.

But ugh, I still think we're getting Dan/Blair. (I just hope I still care by the time it happens.) Those first two episodes were ridiculously shippy. Usually Chuck/Blair is draaagged out in season-long arcs, but they're powering through Chuck/Blair story while Dan/Blair crawls along. It took eight episodes for Dan to realize that he's in love with Blair, whereas it took eight episodes for Chuck to change *and* Blair to realize he'd changed. That's kind of an insane difference.

Anyway, for now I'm keeping calm and interested to see how they write Dan being in love with Blair.

TV

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:52:53 GMT

The Vampire Diaries which is still the stupidest name ever btw

I'm still really confused by the mid-season finale. I wish this was another Aztec Curse situation and that Katherine had lied to Stefan. Katherine tells Stefan that the hybrids are compelled to kill Damon if he tries to kill Klaus, but (1) compulsion ends if Damon succeeds, (2) Mikael compelled them, (3) Katherine had those wolfsbane grenades, which neutralized them really, really effectively. It didn't feel like there was an actual threat, an actual reason for Stefan to screw up Klaus being killed.

So I wish that Katherine lied. But I don't think she did because she spouted weird stuff about loving Damon (stop it, no you don't), and Katherine has been running from Klaus for so long, wanted him dead as much as anyone, etc. So I guess it was just a confusing and contrived way to drag out Klaus's unfortunate existence.

I'm disappointed if that's all the payoff we're going to get wrt Elena telling Damon that she thought he'd be the one Stefan comes back for.

I didn't really mind the cheesy vampire origin story. I think it fits with TVD's brand of vampire lore, and the importance of family and balance. But now werewolves are more mysterious than vampires.

Klaus crying in 3x09 just drove home how unbearably stupid and pathetic his motivations are. Compelling friends, making slave-like followers, lying to gain his family's allegiance, "killing" them when they bail. (Rebekah ran with him from their father for centuries, and the minute she got tired of running? Goodbye.) All so he won't be alone and/or abandoned by his family? I mean, honestly, this is all soooo pathetic, it's not scary at all.

The founding family lineage is totally doomed. Caroline is a vampire, no more Forbes. Tyler is a vampire hybrid, Mason is dead, so that's it for the Lockwoods. Damon killed Zack, so no more Salvatores. Jenna and John are dead, so there's just Jeremy and Elena to carry on the Gilbert genes.

Overall? I've been enjoying the season. It's been kind of emotional, actually. I got all teary when Stefan was all NOOOOOO I WILL NOT TURN OFF MY HUMANITY and when Matt said goodbye to Vicky, and I legit cried when Anna found Pearl. Damon/Elena has improved, Stefan/Damon stuff is generally excellent. I just hope Klaus dies soon and the Originals don't continue to eat away at screentime for characters like Caroline, Katherine, and Jeremy. And what happened to Stefan/Caroline scenes, crying tbh.

Gossip Girl 506

Gossip Girl 507

Diana/Nate/Ivy/Max/Serena

I'm not even sure I could explain this story line to anyone, it was that convoluted.

- I thought Sleep No More sounded cool, but it mostly just looked like a middlebrow funhouse for adults. Is Diana Lady Macbeth? Too bored with her to think about it, tbh.

- Ivy's boyfriend Max followed her all the way to New York... but just as he's about to find her, he gets *completely* distracted by Serena. Which makes no sense, but whatever.

- I don't think Ivy has any feelings for Nate. And all the stuff with the masks was even more stupid than 4x09, which is impressive.

- The part that really confused me was Diana's endgame with regard to Serena. She wants Serena to use Gossip Girl, no wait, takedown Gossip Girl. But Serena doesn't bite until Gossip Girl spreads false info on "Charlie," that Diana herself spread... and Nate's grandfather is bankrolling all of this? IDEK, you guys.

Chuck and Blair

The thing about Blair where Chuck is concerned is that we all wanted her to get over Chuck last year. But she never did. The only reason she's with Louis and not Chuck is because Chuck told her that their relationship wasn't "right" like her relationship with Louis, that he couldn't make her happy like Louis could, that he hadn't treated her as well as Louis had. Blair wanted to "make our own fairytale" with Chuck, but Chuck told her she already had one with Louis.

And Chuck changing (how crazy rushed is this story line, btw?) throws everything off. If Chuck has changed, then he could be "right," he could make her happy, he could treat her well, and he could be her fairytale after all. Blair schemes to prove that Chuck hasn't changed because she *needs* Chuck to be the villain of her fairytale with Louis. That's the roles she's assigned him, and he accepts it because he knows that's what she needs. They made him ~The Dark Knight~ after all: the selfless hero (my eyes just rolled so far back into my head, you guys) accepts the role of villain because it's what people ~need him to be.~

Anyway! Chuck Louis Chuck Louis Chuck Louis Chuck Louis times infinity. COME ON DAN, YOU NEED TO SNEAK ATTACK.

Dan

Published at 20! You're such a failure, Dan.

I do like that his book is flopping, though. I really liked Rufus's pep talk, especially what he said about Dan just needing one person to connect with his art. But he didn't break through! It's very UnDan, and it looks like we're getting more of that next week. I just want Dair and Date to make up, cry cry.

Chuck

I think being constantly on the cancellation bubble ruined Chuck. I guess the episodes have been entertaining in the sense that I still love all of these characters, but everything I cared about is done; they've been forced to constantly wrap up story lines in case the show ended, and they wrapped up everything that mattered. It just doesn't feel like there's anything left to see. These story lines might as well be comic book story lines, tbqh.

Ugh

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:46:12 GMT

The fastest way to lose faith in humanity is to read the comments on any Yahoo article.

Um...

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 05:08:16 GMT

Okay, I am so confused.

1. Stefan wants to kill Klaus so he will be free from his compulsion.

2. Stefan stops Damon from killing Klaus because Klaus compelled his hybrid army to kill Damon if Damon kills him.

3. But... doesn't Klaus's compulsion end after he dies?

Pierce

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:13:08 GMT

Okay, who is going to tell me what actually happens in Mastiff? Because so far your spoilery posts haven't been much with the spoilery!

And have you guys seen Ian Thorpe's interview with the Telegraph? It's kind of sad, tbh. And now he's following it up with a pretty bad showing at the World Cup, which is even more sad. This is why I'm against comebacks! Get out while you're on top!

Anyway, Duel in the Pool is being held at Georgia Tech this year, and I'm seriously considering going. Michael Phelps won't be there, but Ryan Lochte is better than him nowadays anyway, and he will be. Plus Brendan Hansen! And it might be more fun to watch all the swimmers in London if I see them in person in December?

Dear Sally

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:10:25 GMT

Aw, this show. It is so 90s, with the music and the hair and the PHONES WITH CORDS and gigantic computers. And so JJ Abrams, with the horror movies and the little doses of science fiction and the random appearances of Eastern European mafia.

'Dear Sally' is one of the most annoying narrative devices of any show I've ever watched. But the images of Felicity silhouetted against her window holding her tape recorder (WHAT IS A TAPE RECORDER) are iconic to me anyway.

I always fall a little bit in love with Ben, IDEK.

Whenever I go back and rewatch a show, I can't help thinking about story lines that should have happened, and Noel/Elena should totally have happened! Elena even tells Felicity that she's attracted to Noel, even though white guys don't usually do it for her. Noel has more scenes with Elena than anyone except Felicity, and their chemistry is so snappy. He is the one who convinces her to stay at NYU! And aren't they roommates in S2? Dammit, Felicity.

Felicity is such a creeper (omg at the scene where she sits on the floor and watches Ben sleep), but I do like how much she wants to *know* Ben and how he makes it so difficult. Like when he lies he's not doing track because he doesn't have time, but Felicity knows he didn't make the team because she was there watching him. :(

Rewatching this, I'm surprised I shipped Felicity/Noel because Felicity is so completely fixated on Ben. When Noel tells her he has a long-distance girlfriend (they'd agreed to see other people) at the restaurant, her reaction was so OTT and superficial. It was like she was relieved to find something wrong with Noel because it made it easier to avoid him and stay 100% wrapped up in Ben. But I'm not very far yet, so I'll probably remember why I liked Felicity/Noel soon.

Her tape to Sally getting played at the dorm party is still one of the most excruciatingly embarrassing things I have ever seen on TV, omg.

Have some mostly random picspam!

Gossip Girl

OH WELL. I knew this season being good would not last.

This episode was really boring. Why am I watching guest stars interact with even guestier stars? Why am I watching Louis have feelings? Why is Yom Kippur even a part of this episode if atonement has nothing to do with anything at all whatsoever? Why does Blair make no sense? Why do the writers think a custody contract is an entertaining plot, especially if it isn't signed so it can be brought back at an inopportune time later? Why is Dan buying Chuck presents? Ugh, this episode just irritated me.

The low point of this episode for me was watching Blair decide to move to Monaco just because Serena didn't drop everything for her the second she asked. It's also ridiculous that Blair expects to be able to stay in New York, for her child to go to Constance or St. Jude's. If you're the Princess of Monaco, you live happily ever after in Monaco. The end.

The second lowest point of the episode was Nate walking away without making sure Ivy put those files back into the safe. It was like 4x07 all over again, and I'm so over Nate being this dumb.

They're writing Blair's pregnancy like a plot point instead of her own story line. Honestly, I beyond hate the writing for Blair this season. Watching her try to sign that contract without reading it was just sad.

I liked that Dan didn't believe Serena would sabotage him. It means he doesn't think Serena = Sabrina, but there's also some self-absorption there on his part, showing that Dan doesn't realize how much he hurt her and (consequently) what she's capable of.

I really didn't think Serena was implying that Blair is the love of Dan's life. Just expressing disappointment that Dan doesn't still see her the way he did when they were younger, that he doesn't feel the same way about her that she still does about him. But, ugh, it's so frustrating how we have no idea how Blair really feels about Dan's book. ~~Or anything at all whatsoever.~~

Diana's final scene was interesting (not because of the photo; DNW any more secrets about stupid Bart) because she took the photo out of her drawer and burned it. Whereas Blair took the paternity test and put it in her drawer. Which is obviously an insane risk that is beneath Blair's level of scheming expertise. Why is she holding onto it? Is it because she is lying and holding onto the test is the equivalent of holding onto Chuck?

Ugh, I just want to know she isn't lying. It will help me get through the unstoppable awfulness of all things Chair.

"Well, I might have made your character a little.... gay."

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:28:55 GMT

Gossip Girl - 5x04 "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"

Another good episode, what is going ooonnn.

Dan

So _kirsty called the sometimes-your-dreams-coming-true-feel-like-nightmares theme after the finale. Dan's nightmare literally came true! And I loved the tension in the episode to that effect, how Dan is ~~small yet giant~~ ~~young yet adult~~ ~~girlish yet macho~~ anxious yet excited, like when he sits down to worry about everyone's reactions and ends up geeking out over a stack of his books full of his words that people will actually want him to sign, aw. And Inside is so meta and fun because it's the stuff we bitch about and mock all the time. Rufus is useless! Nate has no story line! Serena is ridiculous! The epic shipping war between Chuck/Death and Chuck/Forever Alone!

And it could have just been meta, but instead all of that stuff culminated in a bunch of genuinely amazing scenes. We all loved Dan making Nate gay, but Nate being gay because Dan merged him with Eric into one character is sad. The Dan/Serena scene was tense and loaded and great. Chuck dying of autoerotic asphyxiation was the funniest of all, but Chuck being introspective and telling Lily he doesn't want to be the guy everyone hates who ends up alone was about as nice as it could be under the circumstances (4x20-4x22 are still ass). And the Rufus/Dan scene at the end of the episode was great. (Penn was so good in this episode!) And now Dan has to deal with the sense-making consequences of reducing his friends and family to caricatures in his book. He seems to think it's okay because he did the same thing to himself, but you don't get to decide who is hurt by the things you say or do just because that wasn't your intention.

Anyway, my favorite part of this episode is that GG at its most ridiculous is like Dan's book -- trashy and satirical and OTT and mean-spirited. But the collection of genuinely great moments in this episode are the heart underneath the ridiculousness, and that's always been the reason I watch the show. I totally wish the movie of Dan's book would be like the show is to the original series. It's softer and everyone is more likable -- or at least more fleshed out. And then it can be critically panned as having lost the edge or ~pathos of Dan's novel, a lot like how the New Yorker panned the show. It would fit with Less Than Zero being the premiere's title, too. Acclaimed debut novel, flop movie.

Blair

RME that we are getting so much of Louis's perspective when I have next-to-no idea what Blair is thinking about *a lot* of stuff. Last night made it seem like Blair may have known that Dan felt something for her ("When are you going to get it through your head, there is no us!") right after everyone decided she was oblivious in 5x02. And Blair was the only person who didn't have a real scene with Dan about her portrayal. Which makes sense because she was mad. Still, Blair says: "I was mean to him on the steps of the Met, I badmouthed him to his dream girl, I undermined him at W. I'm sure it's brutal." But was it? All we know is that Dan wrote they had sex. And that's the part the book was open to. Did Blair read beyond that? She said "me too" when Serena admitted she'd only read the parts about herself (lol). So... is that it for Blair and the book?

Okay, more importantly re: Blair's missing POV, I don't know if Blair is lying about her baby's paternity. I *really* think the show was being dodgy in 5x03. But she was so adamant about not lying to Louis and how he needs to trust her -- there's no guilt or nuance in Leighton's acting. And then Kristen said:

Monica: Tell me Blair is lying and Louis isn't the father! Tell me this new Gossip Girl photo is of Blair telling Chuck he's the father!
Can't say either of those things, sorry! Should we stop talking then? Or did you want to know that Louis is definitely the baby daddy? (That's what our source says, anyway. And this source hasn't been wrong before.)

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT THIS TO BE TRUE. What do you guys think, what is your gut telling you? I mean, keep in mind the weird foreshadowing last season, the conssstant mocking about how we would hate Blair this year, the Chuck/Blair/Louis triangle promotion, Blair being so taken aback to see the dog? Should I trust in Kristen and Leighton's acting, or should I trust in my own experience of Gossip Girl being heinous? I totally twitched in a bad way when she said she was carrying the heir to a kingdom.

View Poll: #1787462

I'LL BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU GUYS TELL ME TO BELIEVE.

Re: Trust, I don't really know what to say. If you lose someone's trust, you can't demand it back, but Blair hasn't done anything to lose Louis's trust... that he knows about. (Which is the thing.) I think Blair has been open with Louis about everything but cheating with Chuck, and she should have told him. And so it is disconcerting to see Blair insisting she would never lie to Louis and that he has to trust her or let her go. But Blair also can't put up with being treated badly and being accused of things she didn't do just because she made a mistake, especially since Louis doesn't know about it. But this is probably way too nuanced for Gossip Girl, and I feel like Blair is putting sleeping with Chuck in 4x22 into some sort of box that was a Mistake that she Regrets and is pretending happened out of time at that creepy bar mitzvah. Which is one reason it makes sense for the baby to be Chuck's, since that's not how life works. But if it is Chuck's, then they are in the process of ruining Blair in a way that there is no coming back from. And I don't think they'd do that?

Other Stuffs

Serena was so hilariously smug at the book gathering, which was funny since you knew she was in for a rude awakening. But it was also really sad, considering how much confidence Serena had in the way Dan saw her. Whereas Blair looked super nervous and went all deflective. Uh oh, someone cares what Dan thinks about her now! This is new and different, etc.

CHUCK: Blair is lost to me.

Whatever, show. IHU and your beautiful lies.

"American Psycho in prep school" aka the new Gossip Girl book, lol.

The lamp in Diana's office is mesmerizingly ugly. It looks like one of those bottles of layered colored sand I used to make I was a kid, except somebody dropped hers.

Dan's dialogue can't touch the show's unintentional self-parody. EVERY NERVE OF MY BODY IS ELECTRIFIED BY HATE. But the ~Dylan/Clair~ kiss was pretty and funny and not at all freeze-framed or cell-phone cameraed! So that's something. And it seemed like maybe what Dan wished had happened; Dylan took more initiative than he did, and he told Clair he didn't believe her when she said there was nothing between them. I just wish we had more multi-colored dramatizations of Dan's book, especially one of Dylan being stupid. I'M THE MOST UNDERSTANDING PERSON I KNOW.

"The artist must stand alone to absorb the crowd."

Ugh, again? It's not just me who thinks this is totally awful advice? Especially for judgmental, redeemed-by-his-empathy Dan.

I started rewatching Felicity on Netflix this weekend, and wow. I'd forgotten what a total stalker she is. Also Parks & Rec, which I love!

I Fixed Him

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:33:02 GMT

DARK STEFAN. This is what I have been waiting for! He should start saying his name more evilly now. 'SteFAN!'

I liked that Klaus had to ~~fix~~ compel Stefan, because I don't think Stefan would turn off his humanity, barring some kind of trauma. One of the tenets of TVD's vampirism is that love equals humanity: "Katherine is dead, and you hate me because you loved her. And you torture me because you still do. That, my brother, is your humanity." It's cheesy, but Stefan's love for Elena really is the representation of his humanity, which is why he needed to hear her voice after he killed Andie to fake being gone. AND NOW HE IS REALLY GONE. I really think compulsion is the only thing that could have made Stefan actually ~surrender his humanity. Even if Stefan believes his relationship with Elena is over, whatever misguided sense of purpose he derives from the idea that all of his murdering/pillaging/vampiring is in service of protecting the two people he loves would have stopped him from really letting go. Without fridging Damon or Elena, I think compulsion is the only way he'd go full-on RIPPAH.

Of course, Rose told Damon that there is no switch. Not for the "mature" vampires. So um, the show needs to make up its mind about its vampire canon.

But still, I *died* in the best way possible when Stefan interrupted Damon and Elena's moment, wearing his Damon shirt and his Damon smirk, spouting Damonisms and drinking Damon's scotch. I give it two episodes tops before I start bitching about the role reversal, but for now? I LIKE IT MUCH WITH THE VERY. And I can't wait to see how Katherine will react to him!

People Who Aren't SteFAN.

Klaus's motivations seem so lame right now. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE :C It's hard to believe that this is who Katherine feared for 500 years.

Damon is a liarrr. He would have done anything for Katherine.

I think Matt's RIDICULOUS, STUPID, AND COMPLETELY SUICIDAL plan would have been more believable if I'd had more of a sense that Matt refused to lose Tyler, since Tyler and Vicky were the most important constants in his life, and he already lost Vicky. And it was way, way too easy for Matt to kill himself. We should have seen him struggle! But all of the scenes at the pool were sooo gorgeous.

Matt/Bonnie shipper vibes! I thought it was interesting that Tyler said he doesn't think Matt has anyone to talk to, that Bonnie tells him he's lucky because he's the only one of their group that gets to live his life normally. It reminded me of how Matt said he didn't want to be with Caroline after he realized she was a vampire (even though he'd realized she wasn't a monster like he thought). It feels like the show is setting him up to have to make a choice about whether or not he wants to be a part of ~all this.

It's hard to believe Rebekah has really been asleep for 80 years, the way she's written. She dicks around with Caroline's phone, and she's all like UGH VOMIT when she happens across pics of Stefan with Elena. 12_12_12 and genkichiba mentioned that they think Rebekah might be styled/written to emulate Caroline. I can see it!

I'm impressed with the original witch's curse! It makes sense that Klaus would have to kill her to break the curse but also need her blood to make hybrids.

All this time I've been saying I don't trust Anna, but it was Vicky who gave Matt and Bonnie the wrong info. Maybe it was what the ~original witch~ told her, so it doesn't mean anything sinister that she was wrong?

I don't know how to feel about Tyler being a vampire/werewolf hybrid. I guess it's probably a good twist for the show (maybe he can kill Klaus?) but I doubt it's a good thing for Tyler's character or for Forwood. Caroline seemed really unsure in those last scenes, and Tyler seemed really, really strangely okay. I guess this is why they rushed straight into Forwood, huh.

DID IAN SMOLDERHALDER ACTUALLY DO SOME ACTING? He didn't do his stupid eye thing at Elena in that last scene at all, and I actually really liked it a lot. It was the first Delena scene I've liked in a looong time.

And no one has any fucks to spare for their dead classmates, lol. The characters are just like ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, TONIGHT WAS A SUCCESS! Which actually, it was! It was a fun episode.

So excited Revenge got picked up for a full season! Oh, and the Cee Dubs made some ridiculously overpriced deal with Netflix, so everything on the CW will be gradually added starting tomorrow through the new year. Which means TVD will be on Watch Instantly starting tomorrow, if I read the press release correctly?

Sometimes Apple really is a fun company, btw.

Publish or Perish

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:55:59 GMT

LOL, I got an e-mail from Netflix today. They're all like JUST KIDDING about Qwickster. Good, I guess? But honestly, I kind of hate them now. Talk about ruining your brand.

Gossip Girl

This is sort of long, but SO MUCH STUFF.

Why is Chuck sleeping with people for information? The story about the girl at the bank last week, the editor this week -- can't Mr. I'm Chuck Bass just snap his fingers or deploy his army of private detectives?

I feel a lot of feelings when I watch Field of Dreams, Dan. Feelings of boredom.

Nate compared himself to a puppy. ACCURATE. He is such a golden retriever.

Aw, Noah Shapiro is back. I do like all the callbacks this season, it's fun. And I actually loved the twist at the end. I get tired of everyone being so evil!

NATE, YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. Diana egging him on about calling his mommy for a family-approved internship + Nate protecting his friends' phones salvaged the cellphone robbery, but I was actually more weirded out by Nate having sex with Diana right after she fired all of the Spectator's employees in front of him, wow. That should definitely have killed the mood.

BLAIR MOCKED PENN'S JEFF BUCKLEY HAIR. It really is awful.

I hate that Blair is pregnant. The interview with Hello really brought home how completely awful this story line is. She's doing an interview with an awful gossip rag all about her wedding and her fiancé and when she'll be ready to start a family. Her story line has gone from what could ungenerously be distilled down to I LOVE CHUCK NO MATTER HOW HE TREATS ME BECAUSE WE SHARE A GREAT LOVE LIKE I READ ABOUT IN TWILIGHT to the The Secret Diaries of the American Princess. Awesome.

Watching Serena reduced to being the lube for whatever mindfuck Ivy is about to unleash on the UES is really disconcerting. Her scenes were literally all about Ivy! For two episodes in a row!

Ivy seemed a lot more drawn to that Jenny Packham dress than she ever has been to Serena and the vdWs. She was all like must. have. dress. So it's the UES and the money and the luxe life she wants, right? But she'll end up caring about everyone?

Dan was pushy and Blair was childish, but that last scene where Dan apologized and Blair admitted she came to him because she knew he'd push her to do the right thing made it okay. I liked that he said she should know the father for herself, not for Chuck or Louis. And he gave her the envelope and walked away, leaving her to it. Knowing the writers, that was just a plot point, but I liked it. Blair is an avoider, but she needs space to make her own decisions as much as she needs a friendly, grounded push in the right direction. And I like that Dan gave her space at the end. I also loved that Dan talked (too briefly!) about Milo. It reminded me of Dan telling her about his mom or about the first time he told Serena he loved her. Empathetic!Dan > White Knight!Dan.

The baby is not Louis's. It's all right there in the episode. Blair says fatherhood isn't part of the Chuck Bass lifestyle. The dog is shorthand for Chuck's ability to be a father. There's no other narrative reason for her to see Chuck appearing to send the dog to the pound on Gossip Girl. She was taken aback when she realized he still had it, when he said he was getting it fixed to be responsible. Blair tells Charlie that mothers have the darkest secrets of all. I absolutely think she is lying, and I don't think they gave her any cover. (I don't think she needs it, given the way Chuck has treated her, but I'm not a casual viewer. They don't remember stuff!)

The dog gradually worming its way into Chuck's heart would have been something I'd have to grudgingly admit was cute. Chuck sobbing in bed after he finds out that Blair is pregnant and cuddling with the dog was farcical. I don't even know sometimes.

That was definitely a sexy look between Dan and Alessandra! I also loved the look on Dan's face when he held his (awful!) book in his hands.

Louis's perfection is unstoppable. Poor Louis.

I probably sound like I didn't like the episode, but it was actually really fun and satisfying. But also overstuffed, like all the episodes have been so far. Tonight we had (1) Blair and the paternity test results, (2) Dan's and his book, (3) "Charlie" and her "mother," (4) Nate and his internship, (5) Chuck and his dog, (6) Lily's and her first foray back into high society. The episodes are overflowing with so much STUFF that everything feels shortchanged. I mean, Dan's decision to stand behind his book was reduced to a cute plot where his mentor pretends to steal it. But I also feel like everything is flowing episode to episode in an unusually sense-making way, which frankly weirds me out.

SHIT I MADE FOR GG PARALLELS

Wedding Anvils + Churches

NB Kiss outside of a church; walk down the aisle holding a bouquet.
CB Kiss in front of everyone in a former church; Exchange an "I do" and "I will."
DB Dan appears on the dais by the altar; Blair grabs his arm, and they walk off together.

This is mostly an excuse to point out that Blair gets wedding foreshadowing with people who aren't Chuck. Fact is, Blair has never dated anyone she didn't fantasize about marrying.

P.S. Messing with the caps from 4x09 and 5x02, I liked how the Saints & Sinners ball and the feast of the Assumption sum up the differences between the two sides of Blair that Chuck and Louis represent. Chuck is the prince of darkness! Louis is the prince of her dreams! Blair is a hedonistic sinner with Chuck! Blair makes overtures at being pious with Louis! Blair goes to Chuck's ball and kisses him over the ~gates of hell! Blair goes to Louis's feast to celebrate Mary's rise to heaven!

Revenge Conrad gives ~Queen Victoria an I'm Sorry I Slept With Your Best Friend necklace.
GG Chuck gives ~Queen B an I'm Sorry I Sold You For My Hotel necklace.

For casual fridays. NBD.

Revenge

This is what I mean when I talk about Victoria being all like the ~wicked queen up in her ~tower. I really enjoy Victoria's scenes. I think the show will be very give/take with her characterization, and this was definitely a more (for)giving episode. It seems like she really did love Emily's father. She tried to stop his trial. Her marriage is sad.

Danny does seem like a very decent guy. Jack (aka Boat Boy) explained that Sammy named the boat, so maybe I will have to lighten up about how it's serial killer-creepy to name your boat after your eight year-old crush. Also, maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention, but did not!Eric imply that his dad wasn't his real dad? Or was he just being a stupid, guilty teenager? Honestly, after last week, I expected him to be a guilt-wracked mess.

My favorite part was the fakeout at the end! It seemed like not!Eric was sending his crush the webcam video of her cheating boyfriend, but instead he sent the video of him waving to the boat and the sunset and saying the only thing missing was her. I thought that was an awesome counterpoint to Emily telling Nolan that she was going to send video footage of the senator's affair out to the media. It really shows how far gone Emily is, especially when the flashback revealed that the senator didn't even know the truth. BTW, Emily introduced Lydia's husband to his mistress! Her creepiness knows no bounds. I definitely feel like I'm watching her destruct along with all of these other people, and it's pretty fun.

Les Journaux des Vampires

Whoever does the lighting for Vampire Diaries? I HATE THEM. The caps are too damn dark, and they're sapped of everything but green, brown, and yellow. And that's why I don't make shit for TVD.

Katherine is my queen! The scene where "Elena" grabbed the necklace from Bonnie and zipped off? By far my favorite scene of this episode! But did Katherine tell Stefan wrong -- that Klaus's sister was the weak link -- on purpose, because he wouldn't let her help?

What is wrong with me that I find Stefan hottest when he is mean to people? I feel bad about it.

I hated the whole story line with Caroline's dad. I think it must be setup for something later, considering the actor they cast, but I didn't like it at all. It wasn't even worth the Forwood cuddling. It may have been worth watching Caroline manhandle Damon. Even though that was kind of unbelievable since he'd just fed *and* has 150 years on her.

I wasn't all that impressed with Damon's psychotic break. It felt plot-pointish: Damon temporarily kills Alaric so he can have his way, thus driving Alaric to join the council. At least Damon wanting to kill Caroline's father made sense, because that's how Damon rolls: see threat, eliminate threat. (I'm still laughing about Damon stabbing Mason with the Gilbert family silver around this time last season.) But even then, it felt like they were just trying to get to the YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME, I'M NOT STEFAN drama. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like their narrative underwear~ is showing. (a) Introduce the idea that Elena is attracted to Damon in the finale. (b) Play up their attraction. (c) Have various people notice and comment on their attraction while Elena pretends it doesn't exist. (d) End Stefan/Elena. (e) I'M NOT STEFAN. I though the writers were excited to do Delena, so why is it so freaking ponderous?

Jeremy's story line needs to pick up. (And I know it will, since this is TVD). But right now it is lulling me into a false sense of security. I don't trust Anna.

the people who know our secrets and love us anyway

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 20:55:29 GMT

Gossip Girl - 5x02 "Beauty and the Feast "

So when I checked anon last night while the episode was airing EST, the episode reaction was so completely scathing, I was like ugh, that sounds terrible, what has this show become, etc. But then I watched it, and IDK... I liked it? It was overstuffed and pretty heavy on guest stars, what with Ivy (technically a main, but NOT IN MY HEART, OKAY), Max, Diane, Louis, and Beatrice. It was also CLUNK CITY the first time I watched it, but then I flipped through it again and everything I intended to complain about was in fact exposited, i.e. I was all, Nate! You have your cougar's home address! But that's actually why he was on the phone with Information. Also, I forgot that everyone's phones are stalker enabled.

Dan and Chuck

Dan diagnosed Chuck with a psychiatric disorder on the Internet! I am Dan Humphrey, Dan Humphrey is me! And Chuck feels nothing! Not even fractured ribs! He apparently tastes nothing either, since he dug right into Nate's charred pot brownies. This is so dumb.

BTW, I really cannot with Chuck's wise-man act this season. I want to write down everything he says on neon poster-board and shove it in his stupid face. IF A WOMAN WANTS TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SHE GENERALLY TELLS YOU HER NAME. If he took his own advice, we could have avoided that whole Eyes Wide Shut sex club thing.

I've been grossed out by Chuck and Dan filming together so often because it just reminds me of how I need someone to bring me the machine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and vacuum away all of my memories of everything to do with 4x20 (it broke the show!) so I'm not constantly boggling over why any of these people still speak to Chuck at all. But in context, their scenes didn't really bother me for a couple reasons, namely that Dan helping Chuck was a lot about his compulsion to save people and also a lot about Blair, since he thought Chuck hurting himself was a scheme to get her attention. I really liked what Dan said about Chuck doing stupid things and Blair coming to his rescue being a pattern.

Nate and Diana

I really wanted the concierge doctor Nate called to be Mark Feuerstein. And ha, like Diana just randomly needed Anne Archibald's input for a piece on ~disgraced wives. Even Nate has got to realize she is up to something. BE SMART, BB.

Serena and Not!Charlie

I kinda like Ivy, but her motivations thus far are pretty confusing. She used the money from the con to move out to LA with her boyfriend and try to be an actress, so I assume that's something she must really want? But then she runs into Serena, and for some odd reason (even though being Charlie was just a job, a job that's over), she keeps up the charade. Why not just stand up Serena for lunch? Serena would just write it off as her crazy cousin being crazy, probably. The way she dumped her boyfriend to go live with Serena was really cold, and she agrees to move all the way back to NYC. (LOL at the last, lone "say yes!") Is she pulled to the UES? Is it just the money? IDK.

The Princess Diaries

Of course Louis has an evil sister who is trying to steal his throne! I kinda like her. (Except sleeping with the priest is a dumb liability and obviously how Blair will one-up her in the end.) And Louis continues to be presh and perfect. I really do believe he'd give up the throne to be with Blair if he thought the media spotlight was aggravating her bulimia. He's such a cockblock, but I can't even be mad.

Whatever at all the virgin Marys in this episode; we all know Blair is carrying the anti-Christ. And on that note, the assumption of Mary is August 15th, if anyone wants to try and fit that into a pointless timeline to figure out the father. (It's Chuck because this show hates me, the end.) And rme that "you do have options" was the best nod they could make to abortion. Feel free to join this decade sometime in the near future, CW.

Daaaan and Blaaaair

Blair was totally hearing an angel chorus in her head when she saw Dan on the dais. I'm a little surprised Dan knows Blair is bulimic, though. Did they have an offscreen secret-a-thon last season where Blair was like, btw I'm bulimic and Chuck sold me for a hotel? Honestly, the bathroom scene was whatever. Mostly because I can't believe Beatrice popped in twice to hear all of that incriminatingness. Nice job guarding the door, Dan.

tenmylove @ tumblr

vasymollo @ tumblr

I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS THEIR PERFECTION TBH.

ANY OTHER SHOW, YOU GUYS. Any other show, I would be like BY THE LAWS OF NARRATIVE SENSE-MAKING, I NOW PRONOUNCE THIS THE SEASON OF DAIR. But it's Gossip Girl! The show where nice things go to die! I'm scared.

SHIT I MADE FOR GG PARALLELS

1x01 Blair hands out Kiss on the Lips invites.
5x01 Blair sends out wedding invites.

Okay, yes. This is kind of ~specious. But it reminded me of the pilot, so whatever.

SHIT I MADE FOR TUMBLR

I liked the opening this season. Not as much as last season, but I guess it's hard to compete with Paris.

NS! Always a good reminder that Gossip Girl giveth and Gossip Girl taketh away.

LOL. Ivy, please be my new favorite, even if you aren't going to steal all of Chuck's monies, gdi. And Kaylee looks like a Disney Princess come to life, it's true!

I never really understood the XD emoticon until now. Epiphany, tbh.

Blair/Louis, guys. I'm conflicted. They told us instead of showed us that Blair loves Louis, and in the premiere they seemed so superficial, what with the wedding details, the jewels, Blair pretending she's not pregnant... There was even an odd amount of Blair primping in the mirror. They actually cut one instance, but I remember it from the promo:

But in the new episode, Blair says she's marrying a great guy who just happens to be a prince. It's frustrating because I do think Louis represents "right love" (he did last season for sure, and he really came through in the premiere), but he also seems to represent Blair's fairytale fantasy at the writers' convenience. And right love + fantasy makes for sort of a disconcerting combination.

BLAIR: He and his mother will have a lovely wedding in November without a bride.

ELEANOR: Testing a good man who loves you never ends well.

OMINOUS. And this scene opens with a crystal ball all like 'Sup! in the frame. (That ugly thing has been in the living room since S1, but it's still pretty weird.) And Louis passed Blair's test with flying colors, which means whatever test she pulls next time will probably blow up in her face. I hate you in advance, Gossip Girl.

Aw. Dan is so excited that Blair Waldorf is standing in front of him in her princess trappings, asking him to TAKE ME THERE and be her white knight. It's everything he's probably been dreaming about in his lamest of lame secret dreams.

It's really weird that Blair "my sexual tension radar is unparalleled" Waldorf doesn't get that Dan is totally into her. I mean, look at his puppy dog eyes! The way he feels about her is written all over his stupid face! After last night, I really don't think she knows. I mean, she talks about Louis's virility (loool) and breast tenderness~ with him, I really think she is oblivious. Is she studiously ignoring his feelings because they don't fit with how things are Supposed To Be? Does Dan have some sort of PROPERTY OF SERENA forcefield around him that's obscuring her ability to pick up on how he feels about her? Maybe she's just too preoccupied with her problems? IDK.

I really liked The Good Wife (even though I had to download it for the twenty minutes TiVo didn't tape, WHY IS IT ON SUNDAYS), but I don't really have anything to say about it. I need a gif of Will being fake!scared?